At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
The question of whether the benefits of having a larger younger population, compared to the aged group in many nations, outweigh the drawbacks, has sparked a substantial discussion recently.
While
some advocate for this
because it ensures enough workforce, others dispute it due to
the increase in crime rates. Analyzing these facts would provide an extensive overview of this
subject matter. On the one hand, a numerous
younger population supports a diverse workforce, which is important for generating Correct word choice
large
tax
, Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
vital
for the nation’s growth and sustainability. Correct word choice
and vital
For instance
, if Nigeria lacks enough youths in the labor
market, it would not be able to generate enough tax, which is essential for infrastructural development, Change the spelling
labour
as well as
building public amenities. Obviously, countries would lack the required funds to run their affairs if it were not for taxpayer money. Therefore
, one of the reasons why a large number of populations should be youths. On the other hand
, cities with a majority of young adult groups experience high levels of criminal activities, as most of them opt for fast ways of making money. For example
, findings from my recently completed capstone project show that Ghana is battling a high level of insecurity, such
as Internet fraud and kidnapping, which is a result of large numbers of young folks. Clearly, the crime rates would have been reduced if the country had more older people. Thus
, having more younger folks is a drawback. In conclusion, the notion surrounding whether the merit of the nation's population ought to comprise more youths rather than the elderly overshadows the demerits, has prompted considerable debate. Many advocate for this
as it equips the nation with the needed workforce, whereas
others dispute it owing to increased crime rates in major cities. Examining this
fatality has given a
comprehensive understanding of Correct pronoun usage
me a
this
topic.Submitted by Eby
on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that you fully address the question by more directly discussing whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, rather than merely listing them. Offer a more nuanced evaluation of each point.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by structuring your essay more clearly. Use distinct and clearly marked paragraphs for introduction, body (with each main point having its own paragraph), and conclusion. Make sure to use a variety of linking phrases to connect your ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points more effectively by incorporating a wider range of specific examples and data. This will help strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion