“In general, the relationship among members of family is looser and looser. What are the causes and effects of this phenomenon?

The contemporary issue of
siblings
growing
further
apart generally
,
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has raised a significant concern. Many families are faced with
this
challenge, because most keens stay far away from each other,
as well as
changes in societal perspectives. Unfortunately,
this
has prompted reduced family collaboration
,
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and lack of love amongst kinsmen.
Therefore
, examining the root cause of
this
issue and exploring possible effects would provide valuable insights into
this
subject matter. Some of the primary reasons behind
this
challenge
is
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are
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that
,
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siblings
now live significant miles away from each other,
hence
bonding with their
neighbors
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neighbours
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instead
of family members.
In addition
, societal norms have changed over the years. In the past,
siblings
were obligated by belief to stick together, but now the reverse is the case.
For example
, when I was a child, family disputes were
a
Correct article usage
apply
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taboo in my hometown,
However
, nowadays the law has been abolished. Clearly,
keens
Correct your spelling
kens
show examples
would still maintain a good relationship if the status quo remained the same. Some possible outcomes of
this
development
is
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are
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that,
firstly
, families are now less supportive of each other,
as well as
the absence of emotional attachment among kinsmen.
For instance
, when my father was hospitalized none of his brothers came to visit him until his demise, because there was no connection between them. Sadly,
this
would not be the outcome of things if they were bonded in any way.
Therefore
, some of the effects of
this
phenomenon. In conclusion, the global trend of diminished relationships between keens
,
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apply
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has sparked a substantial concern.
This
is
due to
,
vast
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the vast
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distance between their city or country of residence and decadence in societal principles.
As a result
,
siblings
no longer communicate or collaborate with each other,
also
reducing love and care for each other. Analyzing
this
factuality and exploring possible outcomes has given a general overview of
this
topic.
Submitted by Eby on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly state causes and effects being discussed. This will set a strong foundation for your argument.
task achievement
While your essay presents relevant ideas, aim for clearer and more comprehensive development of each cause and effect. Use specific, detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and the use of accurate terminology ('keens' should be 'kin', 'kindsman' should be 'kinsmen'). Correct usage is essential for clarity and professionalism.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay would benefit from more varied sentence structures to improve readability and engagement. Consider combining short sentences and varying your connectors for a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical transitions between paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main point and connective phrases to guide readers through your argument smoothly.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • geographical mobility
  • close-knit
  • individualistic cultures
  • personal achievement
  • collective
  • paradoxically
  • economic pressures
  • isolation
  • emotional support
  • mental health issues
  • traditional family roles
  • external support structures
  • community groups
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