The table below shows the results of a 20-year study into why adults in the UK attend arts events

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The provided table illustrates the percentage of the number of attendees to arts events in 20

years

Use synonyms

in the UK.It is clear from the graph that ,it can be clearly seen from the table that, the

people

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who attended just to see their favourite artist have the highest per cent in all periods,

while

Linking Words

those who went for business have the lowest number.

According to

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what is shown, those who went to see a performer 20

years

Use synonyms

ago were 58%,

then

Linking Words

years

Use synonyms

ago 55%, but today they are 56%.

Secondly

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, regarding the

people

Use synonyms

accompanying their children, it’s clear to see that 20

years

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ago just was 9%, 10

years

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ago, 15% but today they have risen to reach 24%.

Moreover

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, there were 27% of

people

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attended because had a special occasion for 20

years

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, and the next year after year the percentage decreased to 9% nowadays.

To sum up

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, we could say that, In the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

end we have some

people

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attending arts events for work, the number increased

according to

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the data, 6% in the past and 11% in the

last

Linking Words

Leb.7149Sat Mar 16 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

182 words

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The table below shows the results of a 20-year study into why adults in the UK attend arts events

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have dissapeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this solution?

The Government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. Whole many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.