IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

ome university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today’s competitive world, higher education is essential for a successful career path.
While
Linking Words
 some
students
Use synonyms
 in university are keen to learn additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 on top of their major
subjects
Use synonyms
, others believe that giving the most time and attention towards
one
Use synonyms
qualification
Use synonyms
 is more important. In my opinion, focusing on
one
Use synonyms
 area of study is a smart and efficient way to achieve success.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and restate my opinion. First and foremost, the proponents of the claim that some university
students
Use synonyms
 want to learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
 beyond their core
subjects
Use synonyms
 argue that it helps
students
Use synonyms
 to broaden their knowledge and
overall
Linking Words
 enhances their critical thinking skills.
This
Linking Words
 will make them well-rounded individuals and prepare them for better opportunities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, graduates will be able to expand their horizons across multidisciplinary fields and have more career options.
For example
Linking Words
, a student from a science major can have chances to work in corporate sectors if they have acquired knowledge and a professional certificate in management or accounting.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is always an advantage to learn additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 to become more marketable in future.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, some think that it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for
one
Use synonyms
 specific
qualification
Use synonyms
. The supporters of
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint believe that having a specific goal to master a
qualification
Use synonyms
 is vital because it will increase their chances of being the best in the particular field.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending most of the time on a particular area of
subjects
Use synonyms
 will lead them to achieve results of flying colours.
This
Linking Words
 will make them
one
Use synonyms
 of the top applicants for a specialised role
such
Linking Words
 as a surgeon, laboratory chemist, or
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
engineer.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important to focus on the main
subjects
Use synonyms
 which
students
Use synonyms
 are interested in so that they will become more skill-oriented candidates. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 both arguments are valid, I side with the view that focusing on the main
subjects
Use synonyms
 and
one
Use synonyms
qualification
Use synonyms
 will prepare them to be more goal-oriented and successful in their path, which will make them qualified for future careers that they desire.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly explain each point in simpler terms. This helps your reader understand your ideas better. Also, try to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Include more examples that relate directly to your main points. This can make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your thoughts.
task achievement
You present balanced views on the topic, which is important in a discussion essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: