Some people think that it's important to spend a lot of money on family celebration (e.g. weddings, birthdays). But some people say that expensive celebrations are a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the past and nowadays many
people
spend a huge of
money
to celebrate a relaxing day. It is bring about working hard. By all means, every country has
this
type of
people
. Even though some
people
think
that is
a to give a thrill On the one hand,there are several benefits to celebrate ,
for example
:weddings, birthdays and others.
This
even gives the person unforgettable moments in their life.
Moreover
, these
people
found a lot of
money
. And their finance incredibly good situation
due to
they are celebrating every month. In many parts of the world have to die for
people
which they are doesn't feel sorry for their families. They are working to make your children happy . They spend an extensive period of time celebrating with their lovely
people
.
On the other hand
, have other types of greedy
people
. They allocate their cash in another place.
However
, it is not a bad way to increase to financial situation. They tend to earn
money
strong. They never saw health-related problems and worked hard.
Furthermore
, in their view spending huge of
money
to celebrate the special day, does not play a crucial role in their life. And they take care of the family. To summarize, in my opinion, not all humans celebrate because they are spending
money
wisely. I respected
this
person
people
because their families relied on them.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction clarity
Start by giving a clear introduction that presents the topic and previews your stance or the points you will discuss. This sets the context for your essay and engages the reader.
Logical structure
Ensure your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs - one for the introduction, at least two for the body discussing different views, and one for the conclusion. This makes it easier for readers to follow your argument.
Use of examples
Back up your points with specific examples or more detailed explanations. This helps to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing to the reader.
Cohesion between ideas
Work on transitioning smoothly between ideas and paragraphs with linking phrases. Cohesive devices help to connect your ideas and direct the reader through your argument.
Clear conclusion
Be sure to directly address the question in your conclusion, summarizing your view clearly. Restate the most important points that support your view to wrap up the essay effectively.
Grammatical Accuracy
Additional proofreading for grammatical errors and sentence structure can significantly enhance the readability and professionalism of your essay. Regular practice and seeking feedback can aid in this improvement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extravagant
  • financial strain
  • milestones
  • lavish
  • materialistic
  • long-term investments
  • humanitarian aid
  • familial bonds
  • well-planned
  • industries such as catering, photography, and venue hire
  • emotional aspects
  • significant money
  • significant milestones
What to do next:
Look at other essays: