An increasing number of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extend does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved. What are the drawbacks?

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It is true that
large
Correct article usage
a large
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proportion of students tend to travel overseas for their higher education.
People
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have different mindsets regarding
this
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phenomenon.
This
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trend
both
Add a missing verb
has both
show examples
benefits and drawbacks. I will explicate my viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs.  On the one hand, there are a multitude of reasons why individuals think that getting
education
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an education
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from different
countries
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benefit
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benefits
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them. The most significant reason is that some fields of study are given more preference in other
countries
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and
also
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provide good annual income
whereas
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some
does
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do
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not value that specific field. Canada,
for example
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, pays good money in skilled trade
such
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as electricians, plumbers
etcetera
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etc.
,
while
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India does not take these small occupations
in
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into
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consideration and
people
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are not paid much.
As a
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result
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result,
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people
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interested in these fields travel to different
countries
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, study there and get paid well.
Moreover
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, it is not just the
people
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who benefit from
this
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migration, the
countries
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benefit equally.
Countries
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get skilled
people
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from different places across the globe which in turn help in the development of these
countries
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. Despite having the benefits, there are
multitude
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a multitude
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of disadvantages of
this
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phenomenon as well. First and
the
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apply
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foremost
is that
Verb problem
,
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youngsters stay away from their
family
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families
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while
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they travel to study.
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Consequently
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Consequently,
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they suffer from loneliness, depression and other mental disorders which affect their daily life. They cannot express themselves to anyone and have to do all things
by
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on
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their own. Another reason is that the
countries
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from
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apply
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the
people
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leave have to face
decline
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a decline
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in
the
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apply
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growth. Elaborating
further
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, the younger youth will leave the
countries
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and only old
aged
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apply
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people
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will be left to work for the progress of the country.
Thus
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, resulting in
downfall
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the downfall
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of the country.
To conclude
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,
although
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the trend of moving from the home country to
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another
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Correct pronoun usage
another
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other
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another
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for higher education has certain pros, there are some cons that cannot be neglected.
Submitted by jaspreet on

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General
Consider diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. Incorporating a wider range of expressions and complex sentences can add depth to your arguments.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your position on the issue to provide a solid foundation for your argument. This helps in making your viewpoint clear from the beginning.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, provide more specific examples and evidence. While you have included some examples, adding more detailed instances or data could greatly enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Using a variety of cohesive devices effectively can improve the flow of your essay and make your points more coherent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your position. This reinforces your argument and provides a clear ending to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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