An increasing number of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extend does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved. What are the drawbacks?

#students #study #trend #benefit #countries

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It is true that

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

proportion of students tend to travel overseas for their higher education.

People

Use synonyms

have different mindsets regarding

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

This

Linking Words

trend

both

Add a missing verb

has both

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benefits and drawbacks. I will explicate my viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs. On the one hand, there are a multitude of reasons why individuals think that getting

education

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an education

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from different

countries

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benefit

Correct subject-verb agreement

benefits

show examples

them. The most significant reason is that some fields of study are given more preference in other

countries

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and

also

Linking Words

provide good annual income

whereas

Linking Words

some

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not value that specific field. Canada,

for example

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, pays good money in skilled trade

such

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as electricians, plumbers

etcetera

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etc.

while

Linking Words

India does not take these small occupations

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into

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consideration and

people

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are not paid much.

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

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people

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interested in these fields travel to different

countries

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, study there and get paid well.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is not just the

people

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who benefit from

this

Linking Words

migration, the

countries

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benefit equally.

Countries

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get skilled

people

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from different places across the globe which in turn help in the development of these

countries

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. Despite having the benefits, there are

multitude

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a multitude

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of disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon as well. First and

the

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apply

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foremost

is that

Verb problem

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youngsters stay away from their

family

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families

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while

Linking Words

they travel to study.

Linking Words

Consequently

Add a comma

Consequently,

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they suffer from loneliness, depression and other mental disorders which affect their daily life. They cannot express themselves to anyone and have to do all things

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show examples

their own. Another reason is that the

countries

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from

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apply

show examples

the

people

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leave have to face

decline

Add an article

a decline

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

growth. Elaborating

further

Linking Words

, the younger youth will leave the

countries

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and only old

aged

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apply

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people

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will be left to work for the progress of the country.

Thus

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, resulting in

downfall

Add an article

the downfall

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of the country.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

the trend of moving from the home country to

Fix the agreement mistake

another

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

another

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other

Correct quantifier usage

another

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for higher education has certain pros, there are some cons that cannot be neglected.

Submitted by jaspreet on Sat Mar 16 2024

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General

Consider diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. Incorporating a wider range of expressions and complex sentences can add depth to your arguments.

Task Achievement

In your introduction, clearly state your position on the issue to provide a solid foundation for your argument. This helps in making your viewpoint clear from the beginning.

Task Achievement

To strengthen your argument, provide more specific examples and evidence. While you have included some examples, adding more detailed instances or data could greatly enhance your essay's persuasiveness.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on linking your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Using a variety of cohesive devices effectively can improve the flow of your essay and make your points more coherent.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your position. This reinforces your argument and provides a clear ending to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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An increasing number of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extend does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved. What are the drawbacks?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Shopping is the favourite pastime of most of the young people. Why is this the case? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities in their free time?

Some people think that success in life coms from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. What are the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles?

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.