Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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To some, audiovisual content can contain many important risks

such

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

damage

Change preposition

show examples

family life or a feeling of community.

People

Use synonyms

tend to prefer

television

Verb problem

watching television

show examples

from

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show examples

seeing others or having

conversation

Check wording

conversations

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with loved ones.I believe

this

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opinion is not entirely untrue . Television has shown its many disadvantages,

such

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as health problems or addiction

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

also

Linking Words

its numerous perks,

such

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as following the news.

Firstly

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, audiovisual instruments can lead to many problems, not only in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical health, but in

the

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apply

show examples

mental

Check wording

health as

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well.Many

people

Use synonyms

turn on the television by habit.

For instance

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, most of the telespectators use their device to watch a recurrent show, which creates a dependence

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

emission. The idea of having hours reserved for electronics often contradicts

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a fulfilling social life.

Also

Linking Words

, long

exposition

Use the right word

exposure

show examples

to screens

damage

Correct subject-verb agreement

damages

show examples

the eye and remaining seated in front of the device prevents physical activity.

However

Linking Words

this

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instrument should not be limited to only disadvantages.

To begin

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with, it is a great instrument to keep track of the information and news concerning our country or the whole world.

Then

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, reuniting with loved ones to watch an event does not imply destroying

the

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apply

show examples

family life.

For example

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, in 2022, for the final of the football

world cup

Capitalize the proper name

World Cup

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, over 2 billion

people

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reunited for the strong emotions of sport. On

this

Linking Words

occasion, the bonds created by

people

Use synonyms

all reunited under the same event are thanks to the screens. In conclusion, I partially disagree with

this

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statement. The idea of it being only negative is not coherent

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

neither is denying all the bad consequences. Electronics are very helpful in our society, but they should always be used

with

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show examples

moderation and reasonably.

santos_dij

Mar 16, 2024

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task response

Answer the question more directly in the first part. Say clearly how far you agree or disagree.

task response

Keep your main idea the same all through the essay. At times, your view changes a little.

task response

Add one more clear example about family life or community, because this is the main topic.

coherence and cohesion

Use topic sentences that match the question more closely, especially about family talk and visiting people.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas more simply. Some lines are long and hard to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has one main point and then explain it fully.

task response

You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.

task response

You discuss both bad and good sides of television, so your answer feels balanced.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear paragraph plan: intro, two body parts, and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use linking words like Firstly, However, For example, and In conclusion.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of Money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people say it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?