Band 6+: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays in some countries, the
population
includes a majority of young
adults
, compared with a
number
of older
people
. In my opinion, I consider that a bigger
number
of young
adults
can bring about more advantages for a country compared to any problems they might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe that the benefits gained by a relatively large
number
of young
adults
in countries are extremely useful for the development of the world.
Firstly
, young
adults
are able
do
Add the particle
to do
show examples
huge work in order to improve the quality of infrastructure in cities.
Furthermore
, young
adults
provide crucial improvements each day, they work hard in manufacturing.
Secondly
, young
adults
are not paid
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
amount of money, for
governments
Add a comma
governments,
show examples
it will be easier if the
population
consists of a large
number
of young
adults
, because they will not give any financial aid
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
young ones.
For example
, usually young
adults
do not receive free pills in hospitals and they
are not encourage
Change the verb form
are not encouraged
are not encouraging
show examples
with free food. Young
adults
pay absolutely everything themselves and there are no rewards. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when the
population
of young
adults
is bigger. One problem is that among young
adults
may occur
Verb problem
,
show examples
competition for a job and unemployment because of
this
. There are already some
people
who are trying to find a job, so if there is a huge
number
of young
adults
some of them will be unemployed.Another negative aspect is that the bigger
number
of young
adults
may raise concerns about public safety.
For instance
,if the
population
of young
adults
is bigger, there is a possibility that there will be more crimes. Not all young
people
have jobs and not all are well provided, they can steal.
Therefore
,
people
may
expose
Wrong verb form
be exposed
show examples
to danger in the event of a bigger
number
of young
adults
. In conclusion, a relatively large
number
of young
adults
in countries will stand out in good stead and clearly outweigh any disadvantages
Submitted by hadvaniparth1 on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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