Band 6+: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays in some countries, the
population
includes a majority of young adults
, compared with a number
of older people
. In my opinion, I consider that a bigger number
of young adults
can bring about more advantages for a country compared to any problems they might bring.
Despite the drawbacks below, I believe that the benefits gained by a relatively large number
of young adults
in countries are extremely useful for the development of the world. Firstly
, young adults
are able do
huge work in order to improve the quality of infrastructure in cities. Add the particle
to do
Furthermore
, young adults
provide crucial improvements each day, they work hard in manufacturing. Secondly
, young adults
are not paid with
a Change preposition
apply
big
amount of money, for Correct word choice
large
governments
it will be easier if the Add a comma
governments,
population
consists of a large number
of young adults
, because they will not give any financial aid for
young ones. Change preposition
to
For example
, usually young adults
do not receive free pills in hospitals and they are not encourage
with free food. Young Change the verb form
are not encouraged
are not encouraging
adults
pay absolutely everything themselves and there are no rewards.
Admittedly, there are some issues involved when the population
of young adults
is bigger. One problem is that among young adults
may occur
competition for a job and unemployment because of Verb problem
,
this
. There are already some people
who are trying to find a job, so if there is a huge number
of young adults
some of them will be unemployed.Another negative aspect is that the bigger number
of young adults
may raise concerns about public safety. For instance
,if the population
of young adults
is bigger, there is a possibility that there will be more crimes. Not all young people
have jobs and not all are well provided, they can steal. Therefore
, people
may expose
to danger in the event of a bigger Wrong verb form
be exposed
number
of young adults
.
In conclusion, a relatively large number
of young adults
in countries will stand out in good stead and clearly outweigh any disadvantagesSubmitted by hadvaniparth1 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
logical structure
Work on developing a clear and structured layout for your essay. Use distinct paragraphs to introduce your thesis, present each argument, and conclude your points.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. Your introduction should outline the key points to be discussed, and your conclusion should summarize these points and reaffirm your stance.
supported main points
Make sure to support your main points with clear examples and explanations. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
complete response
Address the task directly, ensure that you answer all parts of the question. Develop your ideas fully and provide specific examples to substantiate your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on clarity and precision in presenting your ideas. Aim for comprehensiveness in explaining your viewpoints and how they relate to the question.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples and detailed explanations to support your arguments. These examples should be directly relevant to the points you are making.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!