Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? With reason and example.

Providing
roads
and
railways
in order to extend
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
system have always been one of the most crucial programs for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments. It is believed that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should pay more finance for
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
than
roads
. I disagree with
this
statement to some extent. On the one hand,
roads
are more convenient and beneficial for people
due to
their wideness and usage. Numerous people commute via
roads
annually and low-quality ways can cause a great deal of accidents.
Thus
, investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
routs
Correct your spelling
routes
show examples
to make them more qualified can reduce the rate of car crashes and save thousands of lives.
For instance
, rebuilding the Chalos way in Iran has diminished the rate of collision by twenty
presents
Correct your spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In addition
,
this
advance makes track transportation effortless and fast.
Furthermore
,
railways
in spots
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
are mountainous are fairly costly. In specific, carving tunnels needs
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
high-tech equipment which
are
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is
show examples
inaccessible
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
and doing
this
task manually is expensive as well.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion depends on the region sometimes
establish
Wrong verb form
establishing
show examples
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
can waste a large amount of money
compere
Verb problem
compared
show examples
to
roads
which are not overpriced usually.
On the other hand
,
railways
have
irrefutable
Add an article
an irrefutable
show examples
role in moving heavy materials
such
as coal, export stones, mineral
dusts
Change the wording
dust
specks of dust
clouds of dust
bags of dust
show examples
and iron ore. Transporting these kinds of materials by tracks
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
both expensive and time-consuming because of their
wight
Correct your spelling
weight
show examples
and volume.
Therefore
, administrations would rather invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
railways
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in countries which are
exporter
Fix the agreement mistake
exporters
show examples
and have accessibility to the oceans. As an example,
national
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the national
show examples
railway of Iran connected the south of the country to the north. These destinations, both of which end up
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
portal cities, are really strategic for the state. In summary, I once again reaffirm that, I am, to some extent against the opinion that it
is seems
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
better for
state
Add an article
the state
a state
show examples
to spend more money on
railways
than
roads
. In fact, constructing broad rods
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more
economic
Replace the word
economical
show examples
than building
railways
and mostly
roads
have more benefits for several groups of society.
However
, often rail transportation is as important as
roads
are. what matters is finding a plan so as to manage the budget to flourish all the infrastructures of a region.
Submitted by justpersia20414 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your thesis and summarize your key points. This will help frame your essay and reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure every main point you make is supported by specific examples or data. This will add credibility and strength to your argument.
task achievement
For a stronger task achievement score, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Make it abundantly clear how each idea you discuss is relevant to the statement you're responding to.
task achievement
Strive for clarity in presenting your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a single, clear idea that is expanded upon. Avoid confusing or overly complex sentences that might detract from your argument.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to back up your arguments. Doing so will not only strengthen your claims but also show a broader understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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