New technologies have change the way children spend their freetime. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?
In
this
ever progressive
society, the correlation between Add a hyphen
ever-progressive
technologies
and spending freetime
is a Correct your spelling
free time
discussing
point. The writer argues that the Replace the word
discussion
disadvantage
of misconception and physical health outweigh the Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
benefit
of entertainment.
It is essential to understand that using Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
technologies
to read news can make children
misconceive. This
is due to
the fact that new technologies
such
as smartphone
, Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
Correct word choice
and computer
computer
bristle with intriguing apps namely Facebook, Fix the agreement mistake
computers
Instagram
Correct word choice
and Instagram
which
evoke Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
’s curiosity resulting in spending more time on using it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, these technologies
contain excessive information
comprise genuine information
and counterfeit information
which is not censored for small and naive children
to distinguish and verify the false information
while
reading. As a result
, this
will lead to having wrong
mindset and fallacy.
Another disadvantages factor is that new Correct article usage
the wrong
technologies
can adversely damage adolescent’s health. An explanation for Correct your spelling
this
thí
can be found in the form of youngsters who are interested in many attractive platforms can be tempted, prompting Correct your spelling
this
Correct pronoun usage
them to
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
haviing
a propensity for immersing themselves Correct your spelling
having
Change preposition
in
into
the phone’s screen. Change preposition
in
Nevertheless
, the cscreen
emits Correct your spelling
screen
high
dose of blue light which has a detrimental effect on Add an article
a high
the
eyesight. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, parents in Vietnam do not intervene and supervise rigorously the time children
use smartphone
leading to a huge amount of time Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
is
spent Unnecessary verb
apply
on
surfing the Internet which is the core reason why Vietnam is in Change preposition
apply
top
3 Asian countries Correct article usage
the top
has
the highest percentage of short-sighted Correct word choice
and has
children
.
However
, many people do not agree with this
above statement due to
its entertainment, There is a belief that children
are allowed to utilize smartphone
as Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
an
entertaining tools to play games or listen to music that may make Correct article usage
apply
adolescent
relax and create a sense of exhilaration Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
along with
releasing negative energy after studying and working. However
, this
point may be true but the
exposure to the screen can be harmful. Correct article usage
apply
Instead
of
Change preposition
apply
that
, parents can incentivize their progeny to take part in extra-curricular activities not only to entertain but Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
to bolster perception. Finland can be a prominent example where most schools here organise many outdoor activities for students to enhance creativity and children
here are encouraged to attend these activities by parents when they were
small.
In conclusion, the misconception and the degradation of Wrong verb form
are
phýical
health are 2 elements that surpass the opposite perspective is entertainment. Correct your spelling
physical
Hence
, new technologies
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Correct your spelling
influenced
ìnluenced
the way adolescents spend their Correct your spelling
influenced
freetime
in a negative way.Correct your spelling
free time
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logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Begin with an introduction that presents your main argument, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main point supported by reasons and examples, and conclude with a summary of your position.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure to include both an introduction and a conclusion in your essay. The introduction should outline the topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate your position.
supported main points
Support each of your main points with specific reasons and examples. This strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing.
complete response
Fully address the essay prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages before stating your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Provide a balanced discussion to ensure a complete response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas further to make them more comprehensive. Use more detailed explanations and examples to fully explain your points and how they relate to the topic.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate and support your arguments. This not only reinforces your points but also makes your essay more engaging and convincing.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
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