Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that the government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an argumentative perspective heating up a debate over the
fact
that a gateway to
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
is available to every individual and that the institution fees of the learners should be paid by the authority regardless of that learner’s financial ability. From my point of view, I do not consider myself a supporter of the mentioned notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is not essential for the governors to splurge money
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
students’
tuition
fees. Unlike the common belief that abolishing
tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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may elevate the
workforces’
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workforce’s
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quality and knowledge, in
fact
, it may cause some dire problems regarding job opportunities. To be specific, in
this
day and age, leading companies find their potential employees through the means of certificates from prestigious academies
such
as Foreign Trade University, National Economics University or
Banking
Correct article usage
the Banking
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Academy of Vietnam. Provided that everyone possesses a college degree, corporations will have a hard time finding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable people for the position. On top of that, the authority’s accountability does not include paying for its inhabitants’ education expenses. And
this
is
due to
the
fact
that the
governors’
Correct your spelling
governor’s
show examples
budget is not sufficient enough since there are alternative fields that require
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
investment from the states. Developing the amusement industries, providing facilities for the construction departments and enhancing the medical system can be cited as some compelling examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
those other facets.
Therefore
, the government’s payment for the citizens’
tuition
fee should not be put premium
on
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apply
show examples
. In conclusion, the
fact
that the governments had better cover the
tuition
fees for its dwellers should not be taken into consideration as the
career related
Add a hyphen
career-related
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problems
this
act may cause
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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significant and the authority does not
own
Verb problem
have
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the financial ability
of paying
Replace the preposition
to pay
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its inhabitants’ education
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. It should present a clear position throughout the response. Try to further elaborate your ideas with more detailed examples and reasoning to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the coherence of your essay, focus on logically organizing your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be linked smoothly to the others. Use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., however, consequently, furthermore) to clarify the relationship between ideas.
General Advice
Consider developing your points more fully in each paragraph to ensure clarity and effectiveness. Support your main points with more specific examples or data where possible. This will not only improve coherence and cohesion but also task achievement by making your argument stronger and more persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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