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Band 5.5

Designer goods are becoming more and more popular. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.

#designer #goods #people #effects
In a society where we are all looking to be better and different to everybody else, it is easy to associate designer goods with quality and value. Owing designer
products
 may have a positive effect on the owners.
However
, the excessive cost of these items made them unavailable for a big part of society. In
this
 essay, I will consider the pros and cons of purchasing articles. Current research has shown that individuals feel more confident and secure when they are wearing fashionable clothes. They would argue that these items fit better
,
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apply
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 and that the quality of the materials is superior to other
products
 found in the high street brands.
However
, other studies have shown that
this
 high-end market has a huge effect on social behaviour. It has been demonstrated that there is rivalry in high schools between those wearing the latest brands and more expensive items and students whose parents cannot afford to buy
them
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those types of articles.
Moreover
, there are
also
 ethical issues associated
to
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with
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 these high-end goods that I think are important to mention.
While
 people are spending money purchasing designer clothes, that most of the
times
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time
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 cannot afford, local communities and businesses are not supported.
Furthermore
, illegal black markets are appearing offering fake
products
, that most of the
times
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time
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 do not meet the minimum quality standards. In conclusion,
although
 designers’
products
 have an important place in the market for rich people, the part of the society that must work to be able to pay their bills should be able to understand that the important values as humans
are not determine
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are not determined
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 by the clothes we are wearing.
Submitted by olatzbaroja on

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Task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and expanded. While your essay presents clear arguments, some points could be elaborated further to strengthen your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques. Although you have linked ideas and structured your essay, varying your linking words and structuring techniques can enhance readability and coherence.
Task achievement and Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. Concrete examples add depth to your analysis and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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