some children spend hours every on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?
In the modern era, technological advancements, especially
smartphones
, have become an intergral
part Correct your spelling
integral
in
our lives. There are numerous reasons why Change preposition
of
children
spend a
majority of their lifetime using these high-tech gadgets Correct article usage
the
such
as the attractive contents comprised
inside them Verb problem
apply
as well as
the paucity of parental care towards their kids. From the writer's experience, I think this
trend lead
to a detrimental impact on their health Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
also
social lives.
When it comes to the culprit of this
young-age related
addiction, social platforms and gaming Add a hyphen
young-age-related
app
must be mentioned. To explain it Fix the agreement mistake
apps
further
, mobile phones in the current years are packed with differential appealing apps such
as Facebook, Tiktok
or Instagram compared to the basic functions equipped in like calling or texting in the Correct your spelling
TikTok
last
few decades. As a result
, the sophisticated artificial intelligence applied by the handsets's inventors will allow the users to approach the latest staggering but equally interesting news. With the same token, the children
who seem to have the
intellectual curiosity would certainly be grabbed attention Correct article usage
apply
as well as
kept hooked for a long period of time.
Lacking the indispensible care from parents is also
considered as one of the prime causes of this
phenomenom
. Particularly, once nuturers are Correct your spelling
phenomenon
stucked
with their business and Correct your spelling
stuck
stocked
could not
spend enough quality time Wrong verb form
cannot
for
their kids, they Change preposition
with
would
have Verb problem
apply
tendency
to make use of Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
smartphones
as an optimum recreational facilities
offered Correct the article-noun agreement
facility
their
Change preposition
to their
children
. However
, this
could pose a
inevitable temptation Change the article
an
on
teenagers which will Change preposition
for
arise
a wide range of negative effects on Verb problem
create
themself
if they deeply Correct pronoun usage
them
immerse
Wrong verb form
immersed
on
these high-tech devices in the long run. To Change preposition
in
examplify
, a Correct your spelling
exemplify
recenr
survey in the USA reported that a Correct your spelling
recent
thunderstock
80% of young citizens whose rarely Correct your spelling
thunderstruck
thunder stock
thundershock
do
parents take care of them spend at least 5 hours per day in front of mobile screens.
Unnecessary verb
apply
This
writer believes that this
Correct determiner usage
these
children
's activity
can put the users in Fix the agreement mistake
activities
the
health-related predicaments Correct article usage
apply
also
social lives
malfunctions. First and foremost, leading a sedentary lifestyle and regularly approaching blue light from mobile phones might exacerbate bouts of heart disease symptoms Change the noun form
life
coupled with
eyes
irritation which ultimately hinder the hostilistic Change the noun form
eye
developement
. Dwelling on Correct your spelling
development
smartphones
in the long run would probably provide young-aged
people with the advantageous chances for making online friends, which equivalently means that Correct your spelling
young
less
friends in person will have the opportunities for deep conversations that create Change the quantifier
fewer
the
social Correct article usage
apply
also
issues solving skills.
In conclusion, the case which
Change preposition
in which
children
on a regular basis spend their time on smartphones
stems from the captivating information wrapped internally couples
with the scarcity of Wrong verb form
coupled
children
attention from parents, both of which could lead to the mitigation of health evolvement Change noun form
children's
as well as
many essential skill
in real life.Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Submitted by goodnight on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
logical structure
Improve the structure of your essay by having clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure each part serves its purpose: introducing the topic, discussing it, and summarizing your points.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure your essay has a consistent flow of ideas. Use transitional phrases to smoothly connect different sections and points within your essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with clear and specific examples. This helps strengthen your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.
complete response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the question asked. Your response should discuss both the reasons for the trend and its implications, providing a balanced view.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure they are fully developed. Providing more details, explanations, and examples will make your points more comprehensive and convincing.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. Relevant and detailed examples illustrate your points effectively and make your essay more engaging.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example