IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Government should spend money on railways rahter than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#government #money #railways #rahter #roads
There are different ideas in society about whether authorities must invest more in the train
system
 compared with the
road
system
.
This
 essay will argue that absolutely
roads
 play a more significant role in both public and goods transportation, considering that indeed railways
also
 are needed to give the people
further
 options for their transporting goals. It is generally acknowledged that after introducing rail transportation to the world, people found a safer and faster way to travel as there is no traffic in the railway
system
. Definitely, the number of
road
 accidents have been decreased dramatically
due to
 its safety.
Additionally
, it has facilitated international load transmission regardless of the weight and volume of goods. In comparison with the
last
 centuries, the import and export industry rate has risen sharply with railway contribution. As an illustration, we are witnessing the advanced cars which are being sent to several countries by means of trains. There is no doubt that
although
 the other ways of transportation have changed the different aspects of both life and industry, the
road
system
 can not be depleted
due to
 its striking impact on the nation's development. It is still the best, easiest, and
also
 cheapest way to commute.
Moreover
, some unplanned problems can influence the railway
system
 and in these situations always the best alternative will be the
road
system
. Obviously, despite their initial feature, the
roads
 are the utmost used means for either governments or individuals. In conclusion,
nevertheless
, the trains have been invented to be a replacement for the
roads
, they can not be completely used in
this
 regard.
This
 essay argued different ideas and indicated the valuable role of
roads
 during the entire century.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure your essay directly addresses the question asked and maintain a clear position throughout your essay. In this case, focus more explicitly on justifying why you believe roads should be prioritized over railways, offering more direct comparisons and expressions of your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, aim to logically organize your paragraphs and ensure clear transitions between them. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Incorporate more concrete examples and data to support your main points where possible. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates a deeper understanding of the subject matter and increases your essay's persuasiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable development
  • transportation infrastructure
  • urban mobility
  • decongesting
  • emissions
  • economic growth
  • remote regions
  • modernization
  • reliable alternative
  • public safety
  • pollution
  • tourism
  • facilitating access
  • infrastructure investment
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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