IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Government should spend money on railways rahter than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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It is generally claimed that the
trains
Use synonyms
 are what the authorities should invest money in, not the highways. I completely agree with
this
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 statement, as not only is it the safer way of travelling but
also
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 it serves a wider spectrum of citizens.
To begin
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 with,
trains
Use synonyms
 are the least dangerous method of transportation, as unfortunate incidents on the
railways
Use synonyms
 are a sporadic rarity. Evidence for
this
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 was provided in the recent report established by the World Transport Organization, which indicates that never has the annual number of accidents on
railways
Use synonyms
 exceeded that of collisions on the roads.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the expansion of the
railways
Use synonyms
 might contribute to the safety of inhabitants.
Moreover
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, railway
trains
Use synonyms
 undoubtedly fulfil the needs of a broad spectrum of people.
In other words
Linking Words
, travelling by train can target adults,
as well as
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 children or seniors, who are not able to ride a car by themselves.
For instance
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, elderly people are often not capable of driving
due to
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 their health conditions, so a local train is their only possibility to either travel or simply get to a supermarket.
Similarly
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, children, who are not old enough to get their driving license can comfortably use
trains
Use synonyms
 as their means of transportation to school.
Therefore
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,
railways
Use synonyms
 are an investment which could satisfy the demands of many people.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that authorities should provide capital for new
railways
Use synonyms
 rather than highways because it is a safer method of transportation and satisfies the needs of a variety of citizens.

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, make sure to address the topic directly and provide a balanced argument if necessary. Expand your essay by introducing more in-depth examples to support your points. Additionally, including a counter-argument and refuting it can add depth to your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, focus on improving the logical flow of your essay. Use transitional phrases to link ideas more clearly between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that are easily distinguishable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable development
  • transportation infrastructure
  • urban mobility
  • decongesting
  • emissions
  • economic growth
  • remote regions
  • modernization
  • reliable alternative
  • public safety
  • pollution
  • tourism
  • facilitating access
  • infrastructure investment
  • balanced approach
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