some people think that children should be encouraged to play outdoor games that require physical activities instead of playing computer games at home. Do you agree or disagree?

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Along with
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the
development
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of technology, there are various
activities
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for
children
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arise which leads to the shifting from physical to digital
activities
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. Arguments among the public regarding
this
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phenomenon are inevitable. Some people think that playing outdoor
games
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is better for
children
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's
development
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compared to computer
games
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, and others think
otherwise
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. For some reason, I strongly agree with encouraging
children
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to have outdoor
activities
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.
To begin
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with, active pastimes provide more benefits for
children
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's
development
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, in terms of biological and social
development
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, compared to digital
activities
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. In terms of biological
development
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, doing
such
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activities
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encourages them to use their body which prevents them from some health problems,
such
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as sight problems and scoliosis.
Additionally
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, using their hands
while
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doing those
activities
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can
also
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practice their motoric sense.
Thus
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, they can sense more of their
surrounding
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surroundings
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and
able
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be able
show examples
to appreciate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life. In terms of social
development
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, outdoor
games
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may
also
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improve
children
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's social skills. It is because
,
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apply
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there are more real interactions among the
children
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so they will have more meaningful conversations. It is important since
children
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need to improve their linguistic ability and public speaking ability. Another reason is that physical
activities
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commonly require playing in groups.
For
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this
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reason,
children
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can
also
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practice their leadership and collaboration skills which is crucial for their future. In conclusion, albeit old-fashioned, encouraging young people to play outdoor
games
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gives more opportunities for
children
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's
development
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compared to digital
games
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. The
development
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includes biological
development
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and social
development
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which are essential for their future life.
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task achievement
Be sure to directly address the question early in your essay to ensure a thorough response to the task. Specifically linking your argument to the task in your introduction helps to clarify your stance.
task achievement
To enrich your task response, include a wider range of specific examples. These can be from personal experiences, observations, or generalized knowledge, offering concrete evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical sequence throughout your essay, but strive to enhance transitions between paragraphs for smoother flow. Consider using a variety of cohesive devices like synonymy, ellipsis, and transition phrases.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is explicitly supported with relevant examples or explanations. Strengthen your argument by making these connections clearer to the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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