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Band 4.5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
It is always
agured
Correct your spelling
argued
agreed
assured
 that with the increase of finances, more social obligations of
companies
 are required to take or not. I completely agree with the idea that
businesses
 should do more for society than simply make money. On the one hand, I admit that
companies
 have to make sure they have enough profits to survive in the competitive environment. It seems logical that the costs force every company leader to devote
to
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
show examples
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
 revenues from the outset of any establishment.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 bosses have to pay for the projects they launched,
such
 as the workplace, taxes, the salary for
emmployees
Correct your spelling
employees
, and
further
 investment for their development.
Therefore
,
companies
 have to make money and produce profits for their sustainable development.
On the other hand
, all
businesses
 must have social responsibilities.
Firstly
,
companies
 should do their best to satisfy employees' salary
recommandations
Correct your spelling
recommendations
.
For example
, they could pay a "living wage" to ensure workers have a good quality of life so that they could have more
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
 to work.
Secondly
,
companies
 should
also
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 in social activities like
pretecting
Correct your spelling
protecting
 wild animals or reducing carbon dioxide emissions to better the
ecosystm
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
.
Finally
,
businesses
 could use a
prporation
Correct your spelling
proportion
preparation
 of their profits to support local charities and education initiatives. In conclusion, I would definitely agree that
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
businesses
 need to rank making
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
 at the top. It is
also
 necessary for them to take proper social responsibilities.
Submitted by 285275402 on

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task response
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coherence cohesion
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language
Try to rectify grammatical errors and improve your range of vocabulary. This will make your argument more persuasive and your writing more varied and interesting to read.

Word Count

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Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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