At the present, the population of some countires includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
it is widely accepted that the number of
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
community
have been rising in some countries, especially Fix the agreement mistake
communities
high
developed countries, Japan and Korea as Replace the word
highly
wella
as America. Correct your spelling
well
this
brought significant issue
both in adults and young people. as for many popularity Fix the agreement mistake
issues
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
a tremendous implications
Correct the article-noun agreement
tremendous implications
a tremendous implication
to
caregiving, Change preposition
for
while
some undeveloped countries such
as Africa have been increasing number
of residents. in these situations, the advantages outweigh the drawbacks.
on Change the article
a number
the number
the
top of that, it is imperative to Correct article usage
apply
stay
constant economic stability. especially young male people have Verb problem
maintain
muscle
power to contribute to physical Add an article
the muscle
labor
and have implications to impart. Change the spelling
labour
For example
, A Korean survey indicated that the newborn birth rate have
been plummeting Change the verb form
has
in
Change preposition
apply
nowdays
to under 1 %, which Correct the word
nowadays
cause
disastrous consequences to Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
workforce
and important physical pleasure. as caprit don't offer physical and Add an article
the workforce
psycolosical stenghth
which have observations to ensure everyone aligns and avoid criticism and pessimistic conservation Correct your spelling
psychological strength
as well as
spin control. while
providing youth intelligence gives a chance to governments' properity
.
Correct your spelling
property
prosperity
Furthermore
, constantly alternative workforce give
young children a sense of accountability and temperance. enduring Change the verb form
gives
ever changing
atmosphere magnifies young' Add a hyphen
ever-changing
strengthen
and makes them less afraid of taking Replace the word
strengths
Change preposition
on unforseen
unforseen
tasks . supporting Correct your spelling
unforeseen
the
older people is Correct article usage
apply
highly
demanding Correct article usage
a highly
problems
, but accumulating themselves Fix the agreement mistake
problem
into
renowned places makes them overcome Change preposition
in
that
problems Correct pronoun usage
those
efficently
.
Correct your spelling
efficiently
TO
sum up, it is apparent that the upward trajectory in Correct your spelling
To
population
of young adults is a good way in Add an article
the population
a population
therms
of ensuring Correct your spelling
terms
ecomic
prosperity and their intrinsic improvements.Correct your spelling
economic
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structure
Focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, body paragraphs should develop your arguments with examples, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.
topic relevance
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a larger number of young adults in a country compared to older people. Clearly state whether you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and support your arguments with specific examples.
language accuracy
Work on the clarity and accuracy of your language. Avoid grammatical errors and aim for clear sentence structure. Consider revising sentences that are confusing or incorrect, and use a proofreading tool or seek feedback to identify and correct errors.
coherence
Improve coherence by logically organizing your ideas and using transition words to connect sentences and paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
supporting examples
Incorporate specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned a survey from Korea, providing more detailed examples and evidence from credible sources can strengthen your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.