IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The pie charts below show the sources of UK tax revenue for last year and the total UK government spending for last year.

The pie charts below show the sources of UK tax revenue for last year and the total UK government spending for last year.
#show #sources #uk #tax #revenue #year #government
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The first pie chart compares the share of seven various sources of
tax
Use synonyms
revenue
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the second one illustrates the way in which money was distributed in different sectors in the United Kingdom
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the diagrams is that the highest amount of money was generated through income
tax
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, pensions were the field in which the government allocated the most funds. Regarding the first graph, national insurance, income
tax
Use synonyms
, and value-added
tax
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 were the biggest sources of UK
tax
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revenue
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, with 21%, 28%, and 17% respectively,
whereas
Linking Words
 council
tax
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, business rates, and fuel duty had the least share with altogether 15% of the gross fund. When it comes to corporation
tax
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, it accounted for a little less than 8%, and the remaining 11% of total
revenue
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 was gained through a wide range of other fields. Focusing on the second one, the highest proportions of
revenue
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 were allotted to pensions, health care, welfare, and education which all together were responsible for 69% of the total
revenue
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.
However
Linking Words
, protection, transport, and general government had the lowest percentage among others, and all of them were less than 5%. Defence, interest payments on debt and other expenditures all together were responsible for 20% of
overall
Linking Words
 money.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tax, revenue with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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