Some people today believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

#people #force #discipline #children

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Some

people

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think that corporal

punishments

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can be given to discipline

children

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. For some

people

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it is not appropriate to do so, I think that both of these views are valid but I side with those who think that physical

force

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is prohibited to discipline

children

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. Physical

force

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usually can be given to

children

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to prevent them from misbehaviours.

Moreover

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, they usually will be respectful because of the fear of being punished. Corporal

punishments

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also

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will make them stay concentrated on their tasks because they are afraid to get

punishments

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Furthermore

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, these

punishments

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can encourage them to achieve excellent academic performance. Not only that, they will think twice before doing something bad.

Children

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will be traumatised by these actions which leads to bad mental health conditions.

On the other hand

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, I believe that physical

force

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should not be given to discipline

children

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for several reasons.

Firstly

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children

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should feel safe in their learning environment and

punishments

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will not make them feel safe. They will be afraid to make mistakes because they will get punished.

Thus

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, they will tend to avoid difficult problems which are preventing them from growing.

Secondly

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children

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need exemplary behaviours so that they can understand which one is good or bad.

Thus

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, elderly

people

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around them should explain to them about preferred behaviour.

Furthermore

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children

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will be able to implement good behaviour without feeling scared because of the

punishments

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Children

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will have better mental health if they are treated well by their surroundings. In conclusion,

while

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some

people

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agree that corporal punishment could prevent

children

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from misbehaviours, these reasons cannot justify their actions simply because it will make

children

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traumatised. I,

therefore

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, remain convinced that physical

force

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should not be given to punish

children

Use synonyms

Submitted by tiana29.alisjahbana on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your score in Task Achievement, make sure to fully answer the question with a balanced discussion of both sides before presenting your opinion. Your essay should include more specific examples to support your points effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and make sure they are used accurately. Adding varied sentence structures can also enhance the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Some people today believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Shouldn't everyone change their behaviour to help protect the environment?

in some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age . is this a positive or negative development?

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?