Some people today believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

#people #force #discipline #children

Some

people

think that corporal

punishments

can be given to discipline

children

. For some

people

it is not appropriate to do so, I think that both of these views are valid but I side with those who think that physical

force

is prohibited to discipline

children

. Physical

force

usually can be given to

children

to prevent them from misbehaviours.

Moreover

, they usually will be respectful because of the fear of being punished. Corporal

punishments

also

will make them stay concentrated on their tasks because they are afraid to get

punishments

Furthermore

, these

punishments

can encourage them to achieve excellent academic performance. Not only that, they will think twice before doing something bad.

Children

will be traumatised by these actions which leads to bad mental health conditions.

On the other hand

, I believe that physical

force

should not be given to discipline

children

for several reasons.

Firstly

children

should feel safe in their learning environment and

punishments

will not make them feel safe. They will be afraid to make mistakes because they will get punished.

Thus

, they will tend to avoid difficult problems which are preventing them from growing.

Secondly

children

need exemplary behaviours so that they can understand which one is good or bad.

Thus

, elderly

people

around them should explain to them about preferred behaviour.

Furthermore

children

will be able to implement good behaviour without feeling scared because of the

punishments

Children

will have better mental health if they are treated well by their surroundings. In conclusion,

while

some

people

agree that corporal punishment could prevent

children

from misbehaviours, these reasons cannot justify their actions simply because it will make

children

traumatised. I,

therefore

, remain convinced that physical

force

should not be given to punish

children

Submitted by tiana29.alisjahbana on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your score in Task Achievement, make sure to fully answer the question with a balanced discussion of both sides before presenting your opinion. Your essay should include more specific examples to support your points effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and make sure they are used accurately. Adding varied sentence structures can also enhance the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people today believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable. Discuss this view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter explain why you need this time off give details of when you want this time off say who can do your work when you are away

Some people think that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

Some people think that the best way to relax is by resting or sleeping. Others say that doing exercise or playing sports is a better way to relax. Discuss both views and give your opinion.