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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think that schools should focus on academic subjects like algebra, history, and physics, but others think that schools should spent time focusing on practical skills like time management and banking. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the present day, education often focuses on academic
subjects
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 like math, history and physics and not on teaching real-life or practical
skills
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,
such
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 as banking or basic accounting. Some people argue that academic knowledge provides essential information to understand our history and leads to a better understanding
on
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of
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 how the world operates today. Others believe that more
time
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 should be spent on teaching practical
skills
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 that can prepare you for
real life
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real-life
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 situations or problems that may occur in work environments.
This
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 essay agrees that practical
skills
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 should be taught more in schools and universities. On the one hand, when
students
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 engage with academic
subjects
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 like math or physics, they develop a greater understanding
on
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of
show examples
 the basis of their education.
For instance
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,
by
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apply
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learning about historical events that happened in the past, like wars or societal challenges, provides valuable insights into the formation of our
worlds
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world's
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 current state, fostering a connection to our shared history.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will result in more informed decisions
taken
Verb problem
being made
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, contributing to a more educated society. 
On the other hand
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, by learning and engaging in practical
subjects
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such
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 as
time
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 management or banking,
students
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 develop a greater understanding that will prepare them for the future. These
subjects
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 will give all the
students
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 the same conditions to get along in the fast-paced business landscape, and they gain experience by learning practical
skills
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.
For example
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, teaching
students
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 how to manage their
time
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 well, would give them the necessary knowledge to use their
time
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 effectively and score a higher result, achieve more or present better. In conclusion, whether academic or practical
subjects
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 should be taught in schools or universities is a complex question and both provide many benefits. Even though academic
subjects
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 could provide
students
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 with basic knowledge about how and why the world operates and scientific phenomena, learning practical
subjects
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 is the key to success and should be mandatory in
an
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apply
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education.

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Task Response
To improve task response, ensure that your essay completely addresses the prompt by discussing both views and giving your own opinion clearly. Integrate specific examples for each viewpoint to strengthen your argument and make your stance more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop a more cohesive structure by connecting ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Use a variety of linking words and phrases effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Support each main point with detailed and specific examples. These examples should be directly relevant to the subject matter and enhance your argument. Additionally, expanding the analysis of these examples could provide a deeper understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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