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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think that it depends on factors such as money or personal appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#believe #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance
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Nowadays, many
people
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 believe that
success
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 in
life
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 comes from hard
work
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 and determination but other part of
people
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 believe that it depends on factors
such
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 as money or personal appearance l think both are correct. But l will discuss both views in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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 many
people
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 must for that
success
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 in
life
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 comes from hard
work
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 and very good planning because difficult
work
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 and training cause to gain a lot of experience and of course, confidence, persistence and careful planning are necessary as an example of
such
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people
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 Steven Jobs , Elon Musk , Mike Tyson , Muhammad Ali and ect these are all different fields but all with one path to
success
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 persistence hard
work
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 and smart plan. On the other
people
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 believe that
success
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 in
life
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 is personal appearance . They feel comfortable and free when they look good. They think they can communicate well with other
people
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 with
this
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 appearance. In conclusion,
success
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 is a complex and multifaceted concept that cannot be simply field to just one factor.
While
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 hard
work
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 dedication and motivation are important other elements
such
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 as financial stability and self-confidence
also
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 play a significant in achieving
success
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 in
life
Use synonyms
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your essay, consider introducing each paragraph with a topic sentence that specifically states the main idea. This will help in guiding the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Although you discussed both views as the task requested, providing more specific examples and detailed explanations related to each standpoint would strengthen your argumentation. Try to delve deeper into why and how certain factors contribute to success.
coherence cohesion
Using a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. However, make sure that clarity is not compromised in the process.
task achievement
Ensure you are consistently addressing the task throughout your essay. Revisit your thesis statement in the conclusion and clearly state your own view, supported by the argumentation provided in the body paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • determination
  • perseverance
  • success
  • innovation
  • resilience
  • opportunities
  • resources
  • networks
  • sustain
  • financial resources
  • safety net
  • first impressions
  • capability
  • relevant
  • fundamental elements
  • external factors
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