Some people believe that tourism promotes the economy while other argue that tourism destroy the environmental. Discuss both views.
In the
last
few years, most people
like
to travel Wrong verb form
have liked
other
Change preposition
to other
countries
, spend
more interesting time with family or friends. There are many types of Correct word choice
and spend
Add an article
an expedition
expedition
Fix the agreement mistake
expeditions
such
as watch
the beautiful Wrong verb form
watching
nature
, rest
with their children, conversance other Wrong verb form
resting
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
culture
, try to other traditional foods and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
singers
Change noun form
singers'
singer's
festival
. Some developed Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
countries
governments have created new tourist Change noun form
countries'
country's
attraction
for Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
national
economy. Add an article
the national
However
other countries
have found in
other ways Change preposition
apply
for
economy.
On the one hand, most Change preposition
to
countries
have developed tourist attraction
when governments have given Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
workplace
to citizens. Individuals can start their own Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
business
or work Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
tourism related
activities in tourist destinations. Citizens can have Add a hyphen
tourism-related
favorable
working conditions and Change the spelling
favourable
people
can pay taxes for
Change preposition
to
government
. Add an article
the government
Government
find Correct article usage
The government
a lots
of benefits Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
whereas
Correct word choice
apply
give
a Change the verb form
giving
favorable
workplace to citizens, Change the spelling
favourable
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
country
and earn economy, Add an article
the country
attract
tourists or Wrong verb form
attracting
to bring
Change the verb form
bringing
people
from other countries
.
On the other hand
, other people
think that tourism destroy
the Change the verb form
destroys
nature
and environmental
. Replace the word
environment
For example
, In Mongolia, people
were traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
countryside
and Correct article usage
the countryside
watching
beautiful Wrong verb form
watch
nature
in summer
of the year. Correct article usage
the summer
People
can take away trash from Correct article usage
the environmental
environmental
and clean Replace the word
environment
the
their space. Remove the article
apply
However
, this
problem is very hard for oceans
Correct article usage
the oceans
whereas
, all people
can not clean the oceans
and difficult to delete the trash in the oceans
. If oceans
and seas are getting dirty, fishes and sea animals die.
In conclusion, I think travel is so interesting and so grateful
but sometimes Correct word choice
great
this
is harm
Replace the word
harmful
for
Change preposition
to
Correct article usage
the environmental
environmental
and Replace the word
environment
nature
. Whereas
, people
usually go to sea or oceans
while
they doing
Wrong verb form
do
a lots
of extreme things Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
such
as parasailing or boating. There
are always emitting the poison and Correct pronoun usage
They
then
it harm
Change the verb form
harms
for
animals. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, in my opinion, people
need to travel without destroying the environmental
Replace the word
environment
such
as conversance other countries
culture, try to other traditional foods.Submitted by buyabuya201 on
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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position on it. Your introduction should set the stage for your argument, but it was not clear.
Logical Structure
Develop a more structured approach to organizing paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Coherence
Use linking words and transitions more effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will help your essay flow better and improve clarity.
Task Response
Address the task more directly by discussing both views and then offering your own opinion, ensuring that each point is well-supported with specific examples or explanations.
Conclusion
Work on creating a stronger conclusion that summarises your points clearly and reaffirms your position without introducing new information.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.