some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Although
many
people
believe that advertising
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
becoming
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
something ordinary and unimportant
due to
grab
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grabbing
show examples
people
’s attention, others are stating that advertising
convince
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convinces
show examples
us completely in order to purchase their productions. In my point of view, I consider that advertising is constantly more powerful than
imagine
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imagined
show examples
. On the one hand, there is
general
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a general
the general
show examples
belief that advertising has
vital
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a vital
show examples
impact on
people
’s choices and
this
is a side which I take. Advertising is
contemplated as
Verb problem
considered
show examples
a key part of modern business and they attempt to convince us
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to buy their goods. Presently, in
this
modern competitive market, companies
allow
Wrong verb form
are allowed
show examples
to produce
an
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apply
show examples
effective and creative advertising to persuade consumers and
seized
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seize
show examples
attention.
Additionally
, advertising can assist
people
to choose
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in choosing
show examples
the best
production
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product
show examples
among
variety
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a variety
the variety
show examples
of
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
.
For instance
, if an individual
want
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wants
show examples
to purchase appliances for
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
, the best is
checking
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to check
show examples
the advertising and compare goods with each other to make the best decision.
On the other hand
,
this
is
disputable
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a disputable
the disputable
show examples
statement that after a
while
advertising
alter
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alters
show examples
to something normal and ordinary for
people
and they never give care to it.
Firstly
, advertising is broadcast from every mass media and different social platforms and it
annoyed
Wrong verb form
annoys
show examples
many
people
. In other
world
Correct your spelling
words
show examples
, companies bombard
people
with
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by
show examples
sending numerous types
commercials
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of commercials
show examples
on their phones or
display
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displays
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
TV and radio.
Consequently
, it becomes more and more tedious and
people
ignore advertising easily. In conclusion, it is true that with
increasing
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an increasing
the increasing
show examples
number of
advertising
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
it changes to something habitual for
people
while
in my opinion,
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
show examples
still are capable
to entice
Change preposition
of enticing
show examples
people
to buy their products.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction. This statement should outline your main argument and set the stage for your essay.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples with more detail. Use specific, real-world cases to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each one focusing on a single main idea. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the idea you'll discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revise your conclusion to more effectively summarize your argument and reiterate your opinion. The conclusion should reflect upon the discussion and leave a final impression.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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