Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a frequent topic of discussion that some
people
think on family celebration is important spend a
lot
of
money
.
However
, other humans say that expensive celebrations are a waste of
money
. On the one hand, some
people
believe that for a family celebration need to spend a
lot
of
money
so they spend very much
money
.
For example
, my
grandfather
had a
birthday
last
year. My
grandfather
spent a
lot
of
money
on his
birthday
, and a
lot
of
people
came to his
birthday
, my
grandfather
was very happy because my
grandfather
respected him so a
lot
of
people
came to his
birthday
. I think
this
birthday
was going very well. After my
grandfather
said thanks to their friends. My
grandfather
is seventy years old. Grandparents were very happy because they were lucky.
On the other hand
,
although
, we like to spend a
lot
of
money
,
however
,
this
condition damages your wallet so
people
need to spend a little
money
. You will be spending a little
money
, you be very fast rich so you need to spend a little
money
.
Moreover
, you need to convene a few birthdays, and you spend a few
money
. You can be very rich or wealthy. If you do, you need to try. I think you need to calculate every month or year in which you spend full
money
, and you can be very rich. In conclusion, some
people
think they need to spend a
lot
of
money
on celebration.
However
, they need to spend within the limit.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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structure
Introduction and Conclusion: It's essential to have a clear introduction that presents the topic and your opinion. Your conclusion should summarize your points without introducing new information. Try to make these sections distinct and more structured.
content
Supporting Points: While you provided examples, consider expanding on these by explaining how they directly support your argument. Include more varied and detailed examples for a stronger impact.
language
Coherence and Cohesion: Ensure that your essay flows logically from one paragraph to the next. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to demonstrate relationships between ideas more clearly.
task
Task Response: Fully address all parts of the task. Ensure that you discuss both viewpoints and your opinion clearly. It's important to develop your ideas fully and make your stance comprehensible.
language
General Advice: Focus on refining your grammar and vocabulary. Avoid overly complex sentences if clarity is compromised. Instead, aim for clear and concise expressions. Further, ensure your essay stays on topic and directly addresses the task prompt at all times.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • commemorate
  • festivities
  • bonding experience
  • financial strain
  • budget-friendly
  • sustainable celebrations
  • social dynamics
  • peer pressure
  • materialism
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