Nowadays, some buildings such as offices and schools have open space designs instead of separate rooms. Why is it so? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, a number of architectures usually design open
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
for encouraging
community activities as there Change preposition
to encourage
are
some Change the verb form
is
society
Replace the word
societal
trend
that the interaction between Fix the agreement mistake
trends
thee
people is less than before. It is because Correct your spelling
the
the
people are more Correct article usage
apply
incline
to spend time Replace the word
inclined
to enjoy
their own hobbies. I believe it has positive Change the verb form
enjoying
affects
on our whole society. I would like to introduce some reasons why I think that.
Correct your spelling
effects
First,
I find that the open space
in the workplace makes the abilities of the employees more effective.
In the past, most Asian companies
had a tendency to make separate rooms for their employees, especially in Asia, as it is for hierarchy. However
, there was a study by Seoul University which compared American companies
, which have lots of open spaces, with Asian companies
, which have separate rooms. It showed that American companies
' worker who works in the
company which has open spaces for them have more motivation to work and less stress on their job. The Correct article usage
a
worker
replied in a survey, Fix the agreement mistake
workers
they
are satisfied Correct word choice
that they
of
Change the preposition
with
working
Correct article usage
the working
space
for smooth communication. Therefore
, I think the open space
in the workplace have
a benefit to improve their working abilities.
Change the verb form
has
Secondly
, designs are also
often used in schools to unite students
. In the past, there was a significant number of students
in one classroom; in addition
, they had less stress about studying than nowadays, so they were more animated than they are now. However
, nowadays, students
usually do not pay attention to other students
. The school committee finds that they have to encourage the students
to be united to ease that phenomenon. They assert that communication and interaction among students
are imperative factors for improving their creativity.
In conclusion, I believe making open space
has lots of benefits for people.Submitted by heoeunsae on
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structure
Try to ensure a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure for your essay. Your introduction and conclusion are present, but strengthening the thesis statement and summarizing main points in the conclusion can further enhance clarity and impact.
examples
Expanding upon your examples with more detail and analysis will better support your main points. While you have provided some examples, deeper explanation and linkage to your thesis will strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This will make your essay more readable and ensure ideas are cohesively connected.
task response
In addressing the essay prompt, make sure to cover all aspects of the question comprehensively. While you have provided a stance on the issue, a more nuanced discussion weighing both positive and negative aspects could provide a more balanced and complete response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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