Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.other however say that this would have little effect on public health and other majores are required.discuss both this view and give yourown opinion.

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To live a standard life one has to own physical well-being. There are
people
Use synonyms
who believe that the most efficient way of enhancing
people
Use synonyms
's well-being comes from
mounting
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
the number of amenities related to
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
while
Linking Words
others assume that it is insufficient and more important matters should be considered.
this
Linking Words
essay discusses both ideas and explains why only
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
are inadequate in
this
Linking Words
regard. It is widely accepted by anyone in the world that one of the methods of maintaining physical
health
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is through
sport
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many suppose that by raising the number of
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
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we obtain
health
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, they justify that if we increase
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
equipment and clubs more
people
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will participate and
health
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will be obtained.
Also
Linking Words
, they claim if governments did not provide current
facilities
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the
health
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condition would be
otherwise
Linking Words
by now. Case in point, we would experience more illnesses.
Overall
Linking Words
, they put emphasis on
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
facilities
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.
Although
Linking Words
it is undeniable that exercising equipment
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
chances for
people
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to boost their physical situation
as well as
Linking Words
spiritual, some say, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
evidence
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
that it is not flawless if we only focus on equipment. They justify that other factors
such
Linking Words
as diet
also
Linking Words
is significantly influence
Change the verb form
significantly influence
show examples
health
Use synonyms
and if
people
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do not follow the standard one they will suffer from fat and diabetes.
In addition
Linking Words
, pollution plays
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
role and lots of lung diseases
derives
Correct subject-verb agreement
derive
show examples
from
this
Linking Words
issue. In general, they do not
bound
Wrong verb form
bind
show examples
well-being to the
Use synonyms
sport - related
Correct your spelling
sport-related
show examples
amenities. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
essay discussed elements which are affecting
health
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by disapproving only
sport
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in
this
Linking Words
regard and added factors
such
Linking Words
as nutrition and pollution to strengthen that. I strongly believe that all the elements are vital and none of them can be ignored in order to reach
health
Use synonyms
target
Fix the agreement mistake
targets
show examples
.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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task achievement
It's crucial to further develop and support your main points with specific examples and evidence. This will help strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link your ideas together more smoothly and make the overall flow of your essay better. This will help the reader understand the connection between your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Be sure to address the task directly and completely. Include a clear opinion throughout your essay, and ensure that you cover all aspects of the task in equal measure, providing a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to accurately structuring your essay. Include a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and a concise conclusion. This will help enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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