Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.other however say that this would have little effect on public health and other majores are required.discuss both this view and give yourown opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #majores #yourown

To live a standard life one has to own physical well-being. There are

people

who believe that the most efficient way of enhancing

people

's well-being comes from

mounting

Verb problem

increasing

show examples

the number of amenities related to

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

while

others assume that it is insufficient and more important matters should be considered.

this

essay discusses both ideas and explains why only

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

are inadequate in

this

regard. It is widely accepted by anyone in the world that one of the methods of maintaining physical

health

is through

sport

Therefore

, many suppose that by raising the number of

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

we obtain

health

For instance

, they justify that if we increase

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

equipment and clubs more

people

will participate and

health

will be obtained.

Also

, they claim if governments did not provide current

facilities

the

health

condition would be

otherwise

by now. Case in point, we would experience more illnesses.

Overall

, they put emphasis on

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

facilities

Although

it is undeniable that exercising equipment

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

chances for

people

to boost their physical situation

as well as

spiritual, some say, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

evidence

show

Wrong verb form

showing

show examples

that it is not flawless if we only focus on equipment. They justify that other factors

such

as diet

also

is significantly influence

Change the verb form

significantly influence

show examples

health

and if

people

do not follow the standard one they will suffer from fat and diabetes.

In addition

, pollution plays

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

role and lots of lung diseases

derives

Correct subject-verb agreement

derive

show examples

from

this

issue. In general, they do not

bound

Wrong verb form

bind

show examples

well-being to the

sport - related

Correct your spelling

sport-related

show examples

amenities. In conclusion,

this

essay discussed elements which are affecting

health

by disapproving only

sport

this

regard and added factors

such

as nutrition and pollution to strengthen that. I strongly believe that all the elements are vital and none of them can be ignored in order to reach

health

target

Fix the agreement mistake

targets

show examples

Submitted by keyhan454 on Sun Mar 17 2024

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task achievement

It's crucial to further develop and support your main points with specific examples and evidence. This will help strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link your ideas together more smoothly and make the overall flow of your essay better. This will help the reader understand the connection between your ideas more clearly.

task achievement

Be sure to address the task directly and completely. Include a clear opinion throughout your essay, and ensure that you cover all aspects of the task in equal measure, providing a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to accurately structuring your essay. Include a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and a concise conclusion. This will help enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.other however say that this would have little effect on public health and other majores are required.discuss both this view and give yourown opinion.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do ypu agree or disagree? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? what could be done to encourage people to buy local food.

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room Write to the hotel management to complain. Include • where you stayed • what the problems were • how they can fix your complaints