IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010
The line graph
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
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 how older people spent their leisure between 1980 to 2010 in Europe.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can
be see
Change the verb form
be seen
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 that the percentage of older people
spent
Correct pronoun usage
who spent
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 their free time in Europe
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fluctuated wildly in 1990. The hiking
are
Change the verb form
is
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 higher than
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 four activities.
To begin
Linking Words
, reading and theatre followed a fairly similar pattern. Both
of
Change preposition
apply
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activities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fluctuate. The general trend is surfing the internet
are climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
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 sharply
50
Change preposition
by 50
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percent
Use synonyms
 in 2010 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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are
Verb problem
apply
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rise
Replace the word
rose
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 in 2000 have 70
percent
Use synonyms
 and down in 2010
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
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 65
percent
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, hiking started at 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1980, and in 2010 increased 80
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. Which far exceeded
than
Change preposition
apply
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other
free time
Add a hyphen
free-time
show examples
 activities

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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