IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think governments should spend money looking for life on other planets, while others think that it is a waste of public money when it has problem on earth.Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #governments #money #life #planets #waste #earth
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Spending
money
Use synonyms
 on other planets is a
hotly-debated
Correct your spelling
hotly debated
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 topic that often divides opinion.
While
Linking Words
 some people think
country
Add an article
the country
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 should spend funds looking for life on other planets,others think it is a waste of public
money
Use synonyms
 when it has
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
Use synonyms
earth
Change preposition
on earth
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. I think that, despite the reasonable advice, people should not put much
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 them. On the one hand, it is true that outer space can potentially offer unprecedented opportunities, it serves as a testament to human ambition and the pursuit of knowledge beyond our own planet.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can not only satisfy human curiosity but can
also
Linking Words
 have practical benefits,
such
Linking Words
 as the development of new technologies and the discovery of resources that could be crucial for
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the earth's
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earth's
Capitalize word
Earth's
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 future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, critics argue that spending vast amounts of public
money
Use synonyms
 on finding life on other planets is imprudent when numerous problems plague
Earth
Use synonyms
. Issues
such
Linking Words
 as poverty, hunger, disease, and climate change require immediate attention and resources that could be diverted from space exploration.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 it is crucial to address terrestrial problems and allocate funds responsibly, the pursuit of knowledge and the exploration of outer space should
also
Linking Words
 be valued. A balanced approach that involves investing in social and environmental issues on
Earth
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 still dedicating resources to explore the possibilities of life beyond our planet, could lead to advancements and benefits for humanity as a whole. In conclusion,
although
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 proving
personal
Replace the word
personality
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 it reasonable for governments, it has to be done carefully since currently, it still does more harm than good.
Submitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on

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Task Response
Aim to have a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that clearly indicates your stance on the topic. This will make your argument more focused and coherent.
Task Response
In each paragraph, introduce one main idea and support it with specific examples or evidence. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a logical flow by using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
For a higher score, try to develop your paragraphs more fully by expanding on your main points with more detailed examples or explanations.
Task Response
In your conclusion, restate your main arguments and summarize your overall view more clearly to reinforce your position on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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