It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviors to children?

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As
children
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's education is becoming increasingly important in our society, some issues surrounding
this
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topic have been intensively debated by
public
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the public
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. Some argue that
punishment
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is indispensable in educating
children
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to discern right and wrong
in
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at
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their
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an
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early age, but I personally believe that
punishment
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may be a helpful solution, but not necessary at all. If someone
think
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thinks
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there is a necessity to implement some
punishment
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, it should be restricted
within
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to
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several
extent
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extents
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. It's commonly believed that
children
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who have suffered from
punishment
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are more likely to perform some rebellious
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
in the future. Being punished, either physically or mentally, would
makes
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make
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them resent the executors, even
through
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though
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they are teachers or parents. Some alternative measures have been
proved
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proven
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to have the same effects in education as
punishment
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, but
less
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are less
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harmful.
For instance
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, critique may
supplants
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supplant
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punishment
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smoothly. It would leave
incisive
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an incisive
the incisive
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impression
to
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on
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children
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about their mistakes,
while
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would
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apply
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not
cause
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causing
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potential inner
damages
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damage
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. If educators believe that
punishment
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is inevitable in some cases, they should at least
adapt
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adopt
show examples
some proper ways. Methods involved with some physical activities should be permitted,
such
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as running for a moderate distance
,
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apply
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or standing in the corner for a duration within thirty minutes.
In other words
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, those would fatigue
children
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but not cause real wounds should be considered. Forfeiting
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kids
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kid's
kids'
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money would be an effective measure as well
,
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apply
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because
children
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usually don't have much money and losing
them
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it
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is serious to
kids
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. Teachers and parents could
also
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ask their
children
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to complete some community
works
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work
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, which not only punishes the
kids
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,
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apply
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but
also
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helps the neighborhoods. In conclusion,
also
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punishing
children
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is usually helpful in educating
kids
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to figure out whether something is right. I don't think it's necessary in the process of educating, and if the
punishment
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is inevitable, it should be constrained with some limitations.
Submitted by 13044387123 on

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coherence
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your argument. This will enhance the coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
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accuracy
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language use
Try to express your ideas more precisely and with greater variation in vocabulary. Using a range of vocabulary demonstrates language proficiency and can contribute to a higher score.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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