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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about rail transport in four counties.

The table below gives information about rail transport in four counties.
#information #rail #transport #four #counties
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The table illustrates detailed data about the
Use synonyms
rail way
Correct your spelling
railway
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 how many
people
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 used and how many
cargo
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carrier
Change to a plural noun
carriers
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 in 2007.
Cargo
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 units are measured in billions of
tons
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the number of
people
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 using
rail
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 transport and passenger
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kilometers
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kilometres
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 per head of population
consist of
Verb problem
is
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 noticeably higher in Japan than
others
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in others
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 noteworthy that
cargo
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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carried to the UK, Japan and Italy were around
same
Correct article usage
the same
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. In detail, it is evident that the
amounto
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
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the user
a user
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user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 was 5.9,
Linking Words
however
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however,
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 the
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kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 770
for
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apply
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per head of population and
finally
Linking Words
,
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cargo
Add an article
the cargo
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 was carried 22.2
tonna
Correct your spelling
tonnes
 by railway in the UK. The number of
user
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users
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 for the USA recorded 0.3 and
then
Linking Words
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kilometers
Correct article usage
the kilometers
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 was 80.
Furthermore
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, 2820 billion
tons
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goods
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of goods
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 were brought by
rail
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 transport.
In particular
Linking Words
, it is
avobementioned
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aforementioned
 that the number of
people
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 using
rail
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 transport except metro gave 27.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
passagers
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passenger
kilometers
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 were
1980
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in 1980
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 and 23.01 billion
tons
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Use synonyms
cargo
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of cargo
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 were carried.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, Italy represented 5.5 in the rate of
people
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 using
railway
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the railway
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.
Besides
Linking Words
that
Add a comma
that,
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 780
kilometers
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 were
went
Wrong verb form
gone
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.
Notibly
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Notably
, brought of
cargo
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 was 21.9 billion
tons
Use synonyms
 in Italy.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rail, people, cargo, tons, kilometers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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