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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about rail transport in four counties.

The table below gives information about rail transport in four counties.
#information #rail #transport #four #counties
The table illustrates detailed data about the
rail way
Correct your spelling
railway
show examples
 how many
people
 used and how many
cargo
carrier
Change to a plural noun
carriers
show examples
 in 2007.
Cargo
 units are measured in billions of
tons
.
Overall
, it can be seen that the number of
people
 using
rail
 transport and passenger
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 per head of population
consist of
Verb problem
is
show examples
 noticeably higher in Japan than
others
Change preposition
in others
show examples
.
Moreover
, it is
also
 noteworthy that
cargo
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
carried to the UK, Japan and Italy were around
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. In detail, it is evident that the
amounto
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
Add an article
the user
a user
show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 was 5.9,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 770
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per head of population and
finally
,
cargo
Add an article
the cargo
show examples
 was carried 22.2
tonna
Correct your spelling
tonnes
 by railway in the UK. The number of
user
Change to a plural noun
users
show examples
 for the USA recorded 0.3 and
then
kilometers
Correct article usage
the kilometers
show examples
 was 80.
Furthermore
, 2820 billion
tons
goods
Change preposition
of goods
show examples
 were brought by
rail
 transport.
In particular
, it is
avobementioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
 that the number of
people
 using
rail
 transport except metro gave 27.
Following
this
passagers
Correct your spelling
passenger
kilometers
 were
1980
Change preposition
in 1980
show examples
 and 23.01 billion
tons
cargo
Change preposition
of cargo
show examples
 were carried.
Last
 but not least, Italy represented 5.5 in the rate of
people
 using
railway
Add an article
the railway
show examples
.
Besides
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 780
kilometers
 were
went
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
.
Notibly
Correct your spelling
Notably
, brought of
cargo
 was 21.9 billion
tons
 in Italy.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rail, people, cargo, tons, kilometers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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