Many people around the world use social media everday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #media #everday #touch #news #events

In today's digital age, there has been a significant increase in the use of social

media

to stay in

contacct

Correct your spelling

contact

with others and read events announcements. The writer of

this

essay argues that the disadvantages of fake

news

and unreliability in security outweigh the

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

of convenience.

It is clear that

the

news

posted on social

media

is not always true, with a high chance

being

Change preposition

of being

show examples

faked. It should be noted that the articles do not go through any fact-checking process.

This

leads to the presence of

gutter

Add an article

the gutter

show examples

press, creating and posting untruthful

rumors

Change the spelling

rumours

show examples

, gossips which can greatly damage one's reputation.

Consequently

, the readers are either irritated because of the stories, or they believe in the dishonest journalists, resulting in them knowing and spreading misinformation. Another disadvantage of using social

media

is the security risk of the platform. An attacker can infiltrate an online chat between two

friends

to get their private information, which can be used to blackmail or be sold to advertisement companies.

In addition

, there

exist

Change the verb form

exists

show examples

a high risk of being hacked or impersonated online, damaging the owner's reputation and leaving a permanent scar on the Internet.

For instance

, many people reported their online

friends

spying on their personal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

trying

Correct word choice

and trying

show examples

to take advantage of them.

However

, there is a small group of people claiming that these platforms are more advantageous. They opine that reading

news

and chatting with

friends

have been made easier and more convenient.

While

they may be true in a way, it is evident that reading online articles from government-controlled websites

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and phoning a friend for a conversation is much more reliable, yet still retain the convenience of using online

service

Fix the agreement mistake

services

show examples

As a result

, people prefer the more

old-fashion

Correct your spelling

old-fashioned

show examples

style of meeting and reading

news

. Taking all points into account, the convenience of using social

media

outwieghed

Correct your spelling

outweighed

by the cons of untrue

news

and unreliabilty.

Therefore

, it should have been shown that social

media

should not always be used for everyday activities

such

as reading events and keeping in touch with

friends

Mon Mar 18 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the question. While your discussion on the disadvantages is strong, incorporating more about the advantages would create a more balanced argument. Seek to provide a broader exploration of advantages to fully meet the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly. While your essay has a general logical flow, enhancing the connections between paragraphs and sentences will strengthen the overall coherence of your writing. Additionally, ensure your introduction and conclusion succinctly outline and summarize your main points.

Task Achievement

To achieve a higher score in Task Achievement, bolster your essay with a diversity of specific examples and data. While you've offered good examples, integrating diverse and detailed evidence strengthens your argument and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people around the world use social media everday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays people are working too hard,what is the reason for that. what should employers do to prevent people form this.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views.