These days some people argue that food should be locally produced and consumed instead of transporting it from fileds to markets. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today's, foods and daily productions
faces
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face
show examples
challengaes
Correct your spelling
challenges
. There is a belief that local out-puts should not
be transport
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be transported
show examples
to other stores, as local consumers can use these by themselves. I strongly disagree with
this
statement, since it may have some long drawbacks and
qunsequences
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consequences
. One compelling reason why I think avoiding transport production would be problematic is the
economical
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economic
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issues. In fact, exchanging
of
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apply
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goods might have financial support for villages, rural
area
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areas
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, and
filleds
Correct your spelling
fields
.
Consequently
, keeping production inside the farms might make rural
area
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areas
show examples
poor and broken, as the amount of productives
are
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is
show examples
not equal with
costumers
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customers
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inside an
area
. Needless to say, if farmers would not sell those to the larger markets, more beneficial, it would possibly
result
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result in
result from
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
damage to the local store. Another
tentallizing
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tantalizing
reason is the
difficaulty
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difficulty
of finding
manufactures
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manufacturers
show examples
. Clearly, some productions just have been
growth
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growing
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in a special
area
. As a
consequent
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consequence
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, different parts need each other to support their lacks.
For example
, fishes
are just find
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are just found
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in the villages near the sea,
while
the oil is extracted in some hot weather regions.
As a result
, consumers cannot provide all of
outputs
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the outputs
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just inside of
a
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apply
show examples
land. Generally, farmers
tranform
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transform
their production and they will gain
another kinds
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another kind
other kinds
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of their priorities.
Therfore
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Therefore
, people, living in cities, can find their
requerments
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requirements
in the markets with ease,
wheares
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whereas
big
shop
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shopping
show examples
centres would like to sell their manufactors like special cars or tools to the local people. In conclusion, some people
assumpt
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assume
local shops can use their
produces
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products
show examples
without
tranform
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transform
those
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other markets. I think
this
would not be beneficial
,
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apply
show examples
since farmers need the money from selling
productions
Replace the word
products
show examples
and
also
exchanging between areas is a
necessarity
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necessity
necessary
in order to
satisfaying
Correct your spelling
satisfying
all parts of a country.
Submitted by mahdisonbolestan on

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coherence cohesion
You have presented your argument in a structured way, but the essay could benefit from clearer paragraphing and a more logical flow of ideas. Try to use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and make sure each subsequent sentence contributes to the development of that paragraph's main idea.
task achievement
You've managed to provide a response to the prompt, but the response could be more comprehensively developed. To improve, clearly state your thesis statement in the introduction and provide more specific examples and explanations to support your arguments. Pay attention to addressing all parts of the prompt thoroughly.
general
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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