IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays most green energy is becoming evermore prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
both
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 developed and developing countries, green
energy
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 become more popular these days.There are some people
say
Correct pronoun usage
who say
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 that it is
good
Correct word choice
better
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 for
environment
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the environment
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 and
ceaper
Correct your spelling
cheaper
 than any other
energy
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. But
on the other hand
Linking Words
, other people think that it has a problem
about
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with
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energy
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sedurity
Correct your spelling
security
. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
both
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of
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apply
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views and
expalin
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explain
 my opinion.
To begin
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 with, it is not
expensive
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as expensive
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 to
product
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produce
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 natural
energy
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 than
making
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to make
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 other
energy
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such
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 as
the
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apply
show examples
energy
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 which is made
by
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from
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fossile
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fossil
 fuels, because it needs just
nature
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.
For example
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, we use water, solar, and so on, which have their own moving power. And
then
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, once we built the facilities, we need to maintain
but
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them but
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 don’t need to pay for making
energy
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.
In addition
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, natural
energy
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don’t
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doesn’t
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 emit carbon dioxide which causes climate change.
As a result
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, natural
energy
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 has
benefit
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benefits
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 for
both
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 cost and environment.
In contrast
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, there are some anxious to depend on natural
energy
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, because
nature
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 is changeable and
human
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humans
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cannnot
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cannot
 stop it.
For instance
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, if it is almost cloudy, we cannot get solar
energy
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. Or if we face
draught
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drought
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, we cannot make water
energy
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. In conclusion,
It is clear that
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 there
are
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is
show examples
 convincing
argument
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arguments
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both
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 for and
aginst
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against
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about
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
nature
Change noun form
nature's
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energy
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, but
It is clear that
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 we need to change something from depending
fossil
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on fossil
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fuels
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fuel
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energy
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, and changing
Correct pronoun usage
it into
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into
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to
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nature
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energy
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 is the first step. Many people are looking for any
altarnative
Correct your spelling
alternative
alternatives
, so I believe someday
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 get the best answer to solve
this
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energy
Use synonyms
 problem.

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Expand on how green energy impacts energy security and incorporate this discussion more thoroughly into your essay. Providing balanced examination of both views and a nuanced personal opinion can enhance clarity and depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, improve logical structure by using a clearer paragraphing strategy that separates your ideas more distinctly. Utilize more linking words and phrases to enhance the connectivity between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure the introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the main points and the thesis of the essay.
Task Achievement
Incorporating more concrete examples and citing specific instances or studies can enhance your essay. This will make your arguments more persuasive and grounded.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainable
  • Renewable energy sources
  • Solar energy
  • Wind energy
  • Hydro energy
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Global warming
  • Climate change
  • Technology advancements
  • Economies of scale
  • Intermittent
  • Variable
  • Capital investment
  • Energy infrastructure
  • Energy storage technology
  • Energy supply
  • Energy security
What to do next:
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