Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals

Many people believe the primary problem in environmental space is the extinction of specific

species

of plants and animals. Considered by some, there are more serious environmental issues.

This

essay will discuss both views and give

opinion

Add an article

an opinion

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about it. On the one hand, many

species

this

world

that are

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apply

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undoubtedly have a huge impact

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our

life

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lives

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For instance

shark

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sharks

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Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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one of the most precious

predator

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predators

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in the sea. As the king of the food chain in its habitat,

shark

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sharks

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dominate and help to control

fish

Correct article usage

the fish

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population.

However

, the number has significantly decreased since decades ago

due to

massive demand for its fin where many

Asian

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Asians

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believe it is a powerful alternative medicine for various diseases. If

this

endangered

species

goes

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extinct, it will bring

Correct article usage

an unstable

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unstable

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an unstable

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population

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into

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into

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the sea that will eventually affect the stability of the environment.

On the other hand

, pollution has been a serious issue for

human

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humans

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, plants and animals. Many industries

has

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have

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contributed

many

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to many

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forms of pollution and

its

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apply

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damage

our

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to our

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water, soil, and air.

For example

, we had many accidents where ships dropped crude oil

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into

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open water

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

had brought

Wrong verb form

causing

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fish

died

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apply

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. If

this

keep

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keeps

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occur

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occurring

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, eventually it will impact our life quality and expectancy as it

damaging

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damages

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our source of

foods

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food

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. In conclusion, the problems in environmental

area

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areas

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should not focus merely

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some animals or

plants

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plant

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species

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also

need

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needs

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to think

the

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about the

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root cause of the problems which

probably

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is probably

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ourselves as

human

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humans

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Furthermore

, we need to teach our new generation to take care our

mother nature

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Mother Nature

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and look for green energy in the future.

Submitted by riki on Mon Mar 18 2024

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task achievement

The essay adequately discusses both views and provides an opinion, but could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the topic. Consider not only stating the importance of species and pollution but also exploring their interconnections and potential solutions more deeply.

coherence cohesion

The logical progression of ideas is somewhat clear, but the essay could be improved by enhancing the transitions between paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use linking words more effectively to improve coherence.

task achievement

While there are specific examples provided, such as the importance of sharks in the marine ecosystem and pollution incidents, try to include more varied and detailed examples to support your points. This can make your argument more compelling and grounded.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

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Your opinion

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