Some people prefer to live in hot climates. whereas others love the lifestyles in countries with cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #climates #love #lifestyles #countries #climate

The opinion is divided on whether it is better to live in a hot climate or not.

Although

, a number of people suggest

otherwise

however

, I believe that living in the warmer regions has greater benefits.

This

essay will discuss both views in detail followed by a reasoned conclusion

thereafter

Firstly

, preferences for hot temperatures could be tied to the enjoyment of outdoor activities,

such

as swimming, beach activities and sunbathing.

For instance

, it is popular to try surfing in the summer,

while

it won't bring that many consequences,

such

as catching a cold.

However

, you still need to be careful not to get sunstroke or sunburn.

On the other hand

, colder temperatures promote more cosy activities, particularly, reading books and baking. Even so,

this

slow pace of life isn't working out great for everyone.

Moreover

, in warmer atmospheric conditions we hardly ever get flu, as the vitamins we have access

Change preposition

to in

show examples

warmer periods fulfil our organism and help to build a stronger immune system. Not only the fruits and vegetables having

such

an effect but

also

the fact that we tend to spend more time in the fresh air and getting sunlight.

While

in colder periods it turns into some kind of epidemic, as our body starts running out of minerals and nutrients.

Besides

, it

also

gives us a vague mood, which affects our concentration.

Finally

, I can conclude that I can totally understand why everybody has their own preferences, as weather conditions majorly affect our lifestyle and daily routine.

Therefore

, it is totally up to you to decide which one

fits

Verb problem

apply

show examples

you prefer.

Submitted by varvara.osipova.2007 on Mon Mar 18 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance your task achievement, aim to discuss both views in a more balanced manner. While your essay provides a clear preference, equal consideration and development of both perspectives can make your argument stronger and more nuanced.

Task Achievement

Introduce more specific and varied examples to support your points. Generic examples can be improved by providing more detailed and context-specific instances that directly relate to the advantages or disadvantages of living in hot or cold climates.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a clearer distinction between paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help in maintaining a logical flow and improving the coherence of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Review and edit your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance readability and professionalism.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

temperate
scorching
bustling
rejuvenate
serenity
thriving
frigid
exhilarating
hibernation
invigorating

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Some people prefer to live in hot climates. whereas others love the lifestyles in countries with cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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