IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people prefer to live in hot climates. whereas others love the lifestyles in countries with cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #climates #love #lifestyles #countries #climate
The opinion is divided on whether it is better to live in a hot climate or not.
Although
, a number of people suggest
otherwise
,
however
, I believe that living in the warmer regions has greater benefits.
This
 essay will discuss both views in detail followed by a reasoned conclusion
thereafter
.
Firstly
, preferences for hot temperatures could be tied to the enjoyment of outdoor activities,
such
 as swimming, beach activities and sunbathing.
For instance
, it is popular to try surfing in the summer,
while
 it won't bring that many consequences,
such
 as catching a cold.
However
, you still need to be careful not to get sunstroke or sunburn.
On the other hand
, colder temperatures promote more cosy activities, particularly, reading books and baking. Even so,
this
 slow pace of life isn't working out great for everyone.
Moreover
, in warmer atmospheric conditions we hardly ever get flu, as the vitamins we have access
in
Change preposition
to in
show examples
 warmer periods fulfil our organism and help to build a stronger immune system. Not only the fruits and vegetables having
such
 an effect but
also
 the fact that we tend to spend more time in the fresh air and getting sunlight.
While
 in colder periods it turns into some kind of epidemic, as our body starts running out of minerals and nutrients.
Besides
, it
also
 gives us a vague mood, which affects our concentration.
Finally
, I can conclude that I can totally understand why everybody has their own preferences, as weather conditions majorly affect our lifestyle and daily routine.
Therefore
, it is totally up to you to decide which one
fits
Verb problem
apply
show examples
you prefer.
Submitted by varvara.osipova.2007 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task achievement, aim to discuss both views in a more balanced manner. While your essay provides a clear preference, equal consideration and development of both perspectives can make your argument stronger and more nuanced.
Task Achievement
Introduce more specific and varied examples to support your points. Generic examples can be improved by providing more detailed and context-specific instances that directly relate to the advantages or disadvantages of living in hot or cold climates.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clearer distinction between paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help in maintaining a logical flow and improving the coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and edit your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance readability and professionalism.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperate
  • scorching
  • bustling
  • rejuvenate
  • serenity
  • thriving
  • frigid
  • exhilarating
  • hibernation
  • invigorating
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