IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You had borrowed money from your friend when you were facing some financial problems and forgot to pay it back. Write a letter to your friend and in your letter: ● apologize for being late in returning the money ● explain what happened ● say how you are going to fix the issue now

#money #friend
Dear Ifeoma, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I’m sorry it’s taken me
this
 long to write to you about the challenges surrounding the delay in repaying the funds I borrowed from you. It’s actually because I lost my job.
However
, I will make instalment payments for the next three months to clear the debt.
Firstly
, I want to apologize for how long it has taken me to repay you, as
this
 wasn’t what we agreed on and that you wanted to purchase a house with the money. A month after I travelled, my employer withdrew my employment contract
due to
 economic instability in Nigeria.
Therefore
, they can’t continue to pay for my study leave allowance since the company needs to cut down my expenses. Fortunately, I have secured a job here as an assistant administrative officer.
Hence
, I’d be able to repay you gradually over the next three months,
as well as
 use the spike in the dollar exchange rate to my advantage. I’m sorry for the delay and I hope you can forgive me. It’s good to catch up with you, do right back soon. Best Wishes, Ebere.
Submitted by Eby on

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Task Response
To improve the task response, ensure that every aspect of the question is thoroughly addressed. While you did a good job explaining the situation and your plan to fix the issue, expanding on your apology and perhaps offering a more detailed plan could enhance your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on the flow of your ideas. Your letter is well-organized, but using a wider range of linking words and phrases can make the transition between paragraphs smoother. Consider revisiting your paragraph structure to ensure each one flows naturally into the next.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial hardship
  • unintended oversight
  • profoundly regretful
  • amicable resolution
  • irreplaceable support
  • repayment schedule
  • heartfelt gratitude
  • unwavering patience
  • promptly address
  • sincerely apologize
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