Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

In recent years it has been increasingly common for young children to imitate well-known figures.

This

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trend stems from several factors, including widespread

media

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exposure and the idealization of

celebrities

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However

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this

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can pose significant negative consequences for individuals and society as a whole. One of the main reasons young people adopt the fashion and the

behaviour

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of famous people is the influence of the

media

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. With the development of the internet and

media

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celebrities

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are constantly in the eye of the public. Advertisements on TV and billboards on roads frequently showcase these figures, resulting in no zones out of popular figures.

As a consequence

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, young people are obsessed with learning about their lifestyle, copying their taste in clothing and

behaviour

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which fosters a sense of desire to emulate. Another factor is seeing them as a role model. Most of the youngster often mimic their idols in order to replicate their success. As a bright example, Ronaldo who is a famous player in soccer, attracted over a billion followers across social

media

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. Youth who favour

celebrities

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on social

media

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find

this

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trend inspiring and want to have similarities with them.

However

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this

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can lead to severe consequences if it is not properly observed by elders. Children usually fail to distinguish the difference between who is in a good role and who is not

due to

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their lack of life experience and critical thinking, resulting in wrong decisions. As an example, many

celebrities

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have tattoos, and

this

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can

also

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inspire youth to have tattoos without considering long-term implications.

Additionally

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, blind admiration can cause obsessive

behaviour

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, eventually leading to broken relationships with friends and can strain bonds with family members. In conclusion,

while

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strong exposure to social

media

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and seeing them as a role

media

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is driving

this

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trend,

this

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might pose some issues related to poor decision-making and bad

behaviour

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makemoneyizzy16Wed Oct 23 2024

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task achievement

Your essay generally addresses both parts of the task effectively, discussing why young people imitate celebrities and what problems this behavior can cause. However, try to ensure that each argument is explored in a bit more depth. For example, you could elaborate further on the impact of media exposure beyond just mentioning it, possibly by discussing specific social media platforms.

coherence and cohesion

While your essay is generally clear, aim for greater logical flow among your ideas. Including transitions between paragraphs and within your arguments can enhance coherence. For instance, demonstrating how the media directly influences the lack of critical thinking in young people could create a better connection between your points.

task achievement

Although you provided a few examples, expanding on them with more detailed explanations or additional evidence can strengthen your points. Discussing specific consequences that have come from youth idolizing celebrities can make your argument more persuasive.

structure

Your introduction clearly sets the context of the essay and outlines the main points that you will discuss. This is a strong start that engages the reader.

content

You've done well to identify important issues related to the behavior of young people imitating celebrities, showcasing your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role models
aspire
influenced by
lifestyle
fashion choices
social media
visibility
accessible
desirable
followers
endorsements
marketing campaigns
trendsetters
peer pressure
conformity
emulate
experiment
identity
express themselves
admire

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Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. Do you agree or disagree?

Some cultures appear to give preference to older people than younger people while other cultures seem to prefer the younger generation. Which do you think is better? Discuss including examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Public libraries will soon no longer be housed in building as all facilites and books are available for all to access. What are the advantages and disadvantages of public libraries existing onlin?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?