In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is true
due to
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some factors that
people
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tend to grow older these days. In most countries,
people
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tend to live longer,
while
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some
individuals
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say that
Correct article usage
the aging
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aging
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ageing
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population
Use synonyms
burdens the government, others opine that elderly
people
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present in
society
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plays
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play
show examples
an important role.
In
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From
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my perspective, I believe the advantage of having an
aging
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ageing
show examples
population
Use synonyms
outweighs the demerits
such
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that, there's the transfer of intergenerational knowledge,
enhances
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enhanced
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cultural
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the cultural
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richness and
bring
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brings
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forth wise community. One most beneficial
impact
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impacts
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of having older
people
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in
society
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helps
Wrong verb form
help
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transfer
inter generational
Correct your spelling
intergenerational
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knowledge to young adults. These
people
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carry so much
wisdom
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that could help young
people
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in life.
For example
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, in a traditional
society
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with elderly
individuals
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, grandparents
plays
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play
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a pivotal role in cultural values and
wisdom
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to their grandchildren.
Moreover
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, they
also
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are knowledgeable and tend to value culture
wisdom
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and experience
hence
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, fostering a rich community. Other
people
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also
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helps
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help
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young
individuals
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in
decision making
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decision-making
show examples
that can impact their lives.
On the other hand
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, one significant demerit of elderly
people
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is the
rising
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rise
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in healthcare and social services. Older
people
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tend to require medical attention as they grow older which puts
great
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a great
show examples
burden on
government
Correct article usage
the government
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and
working
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the working
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force. Social welfare amenities are
also
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provided
in supporting
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to support
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their upkeep. Countries
such
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as Japan and China
has
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have
show examples
a
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apply
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large older
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population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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hence
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, the rising
of
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apply
show examples
healthcare costs and
need
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needs
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since most
people
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need life support and other important items to sustain their
wellbeing
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well-being
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.
To conclude
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, despite the challenges of older
individuals
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living in
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society
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a society
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in terms of healthcare and social amenities, the benefits of their existence are greatly profound and I believe supporting
Correct article usage
the aging
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aging
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ageing
show examples
population
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can enlighten
or
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
society
Use synonyms
with wide
wisdom
Use synonyms
and values.
Submitted by dede on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., notwithstanding, furthermore) and paragraphing effectively to manage ideas.
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Task Achievement
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  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

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  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
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  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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