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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

There is no denying the fact that technology is developing rapidly in the modern era. Most
people
Use synonyms
 now place orders using various applications.
This
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 situation presents both advantages and disadvantages.
However
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, with the right strategies, the benefits can be maximized
while
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 the drawbacks are minimized. On the one hand, there are several notable disadvantages that need to be considered. A major drawback is that the product received may differ from what is shown in pictures or displayed in stores.
This
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 can lead to several problems,
such
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 as wasted money and dissatisfaction with the product's style or quality. , some shops do not offer return policies, so if customers do not like the items, they have no choice but to order a new one.
Additionally
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, excessive reliance on online shopping can lead
people
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 to become more introverted and avoid social interactions in physical settings.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 several advantages to
this
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 trend. One of the key benefits is that online shopping applications can save
people
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time
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 on less important tasks.
For instance
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, if someone wants to buy groceries or clothes, they usually have to visit supermarkets or bazaars.
This
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 can result in various problems
such
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 as
time
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 consumption, traffic jams, and higher expenses. By using the internet,
people
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 can compare prices across different platforms and avoid spending money on transportation.
Furthermore
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, they can spend their saved
time
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 with family members or focus on their work. Parents,
for example
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, can use
this
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time
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 to supervise their children's schoolwork or monitor their video game usage. In conclusion,
this
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 situation has both pros and cons.
However
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, with effective measures and a balanced approach, the advantages can outweigh the disadvantages. By using technology wisely, individuals can make the most of their benefits
while
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 minimizing any negative consequences.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on some points with more specific examples to strengthen your argument and provide clearer ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and effective in conveying your ideas; for instance, eliminate unnecessary commas.
coherence and cohesion
Work on more fluid transitions between points to enhance the flow of your essay and improve overall coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and the overall stance you take, setting a strong foundation for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position on the issue, providing a satisfactory ending to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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