The government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat more healthily. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In
the
recent years, a lot of health issues come from people’s eating habits. Many people tend to purchase Correct article usage
apply
junk
food
because it is more convenient and cheaper. Sometimes the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
restaurants provide discount price
on full meals because they want to attract more customers. Most Fix the agreement mistake
prices
of
Change preposition
apply
the
fast foods contain saturated fat, sodium and artificial colours, which lead to big health problems in Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
the long-term
long-term
. In Correct your spelling
long term
this
essay, we will further
examine why the government
should put on
Correct article usage
a on
tax
to
unhealthy Change preposition
apply
food
.
First of all, increasing tax
on unhealthy Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
food
will force the fast food
chain increase
their price as well. It will have an immediate effect on how people will buy their Fix the infinitive
to increase
food
. So, if the junk
food
stores has
to adjust their prices, they will no longer be that affordable. Change the verb form
have
As a result
, mass
population will consume less Add an article
the mass
junk
food
.
Second of all, government
can use the taxes that they Add an article
the government
collected
from the fast-Wrong verb form
collect
food
chain to create more nutrition
Replace the word
nutritious
food
and vegan food
. Usually, we do not consider the healthy food
because they are expensive. In addition
, government
should encourage healthy consumption by decreasing the Add an article
the government
tax
that sell
organic Change the verb form
sells
food
. Consequently
, general
public will have more opportunities to access these types of Add an article
the general
food
.
To summarise, putting extra taxes on fast food
shops is a good idea to boost the heathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
society. Plus, more communities will choose to enjoy nutrient
foods if they have to pay comparable prices to get Correct your spelling
nutrient-rich
the
processed foods. Correct article usage
apply
Increase
Wrong verb form
Increased
tax
on junk
food
will help the nation to eat more healthily. The government
should play an active role in changing people’s eating habit
.Fix the agreement mistake
habits
Submitted by sucsuc1123 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or evidence. Though you've made some valid points, incorporating more specific examples or data to back up your claims would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. While your essay has these elements, working on smoother transitions between paragraphs can enhance readability and flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
To further improve your coherence, try to link your ideas more clearly within paragraphs. Use cohesive devices like 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'consequently' not only to start sentences but also to create a strong link between your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.