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Band 4.5

The below gives information about rail transport in four counties in 2007.

#information #rail #transport #four #counties
The table illustrates detailed data about the railway how many
people
 used and how many
cargo
 carriers in 2007.
Cargo
 units are measured in billions of
tons
.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
number
 of
people
 using rail transport and passenger
kilometres
 per head of population was noticeably higher in Japan than in others.
Moreover
, it is
also
 noteworthy that
cargo
 carried to the UK, Japan and Italy were around the same. In detail, it is evident that the
number
 of users was 5.9,
however
, the
kilometres
 were 770 per head of population and
finally
, the
cargo
 was carried 22.2 tonnes by railway in the UK. The
number
 of users for the USA recorded 0.3 and
then
 the
kilometres
 was 80.
Furthermore
, 2820 billion
tons
 of goods were brought by rail transport.
In particular
, it is aforementioned that the
number
 of
people
 using rail transport except the metro was 27.
Following
this
 passenger kilometers were in 1980 and 23.01 billion
tons
 of
cargo
 were carried.
Last
 but not least, Italy represented 5.5 in the rate of
people
 using the railway.
Besides
 that, 780
kilometres
 were gone. Notably, the brought of
cargo
 was 21.9 billion
tons
 in Italy.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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introduction
Begin with a stronger introduction that clearly outlines what the essay will discuss. A brief summary of the primary data points could enhance clarity.
conclusion
Make sure to include a clear conclusion summarizing the key points discussed in the essay. This strengthens the structure and cohesiveness of your writing.
logical structure
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information between sentences and paragraphs.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to analyze the data more critically. Instead of just describing the data, discuss its implications or what it indicates about rail transport in each country.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples or data to support your points. This could involve comparing countries directly or highlighting significant contrasts and trends.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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