Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.
Television
has
considered one of the important means of entertainment in Verb problem
is
majority's
life. Correct article usage
the majority's
While these
screens offer enormous ways to enjoy leisure Correct word choice
These
time
, evolve
our thinking Correct word choice
and evolve
on
about what's going on around us. Despite Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
this
, many thinks
it Correct subject-verb agreement
think
increasess
a sense of laziness and Correct your spelling
increases
hamper
one's interacting skills. Correct subject-verb agreement
hampers
As per
my opinion, Change preposition
In
TV
is important to enjoy our lives however
in a limited manner. If screens being
watched Add a missing verb
are being
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
than
for sure it can create a lot of trouble.
To embark upon, following up on Correct your spelling
then
television
channels
for a definite period of time
in a day has great benefits. In a way, screens has
offered significant Change the verb form
have
informations
, general knowledge in terms of science Change the wording
information
pieces of information
channels
, creativity collected from all over the world etc. Shuffling through these channels
makes offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
to
learn new skills and gain knowledge. Fix the infinitive
apply
For example
- Discoveries and science related
Add a hyphen
science-related
channels
are proved
to be Correct your spelling
proven
most
watched Correct article usage
the most
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
channels
among teenagers , as per the TOI survey. However
, If the same screen time
goes over for more hours everyday
, Replace the word
every day
then
it could create issues.
On the other hand
, if screen time
is relatively more then
it can create a lot of concerns. On many occasions, kids tend to watch television
for longer hours , due to
which they might face vision problems at an early age. Furthermore
, those who spend more time
on tv
, they spend less time
to interact
with other youngsters. Change the verb form
interacting
In
Change preposition
As
result
, Correct article usage
a result
this
would cause lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
communicating
skills. Replace the word
communication
Hence
, it is crucial to limit their screen time
to mitigate various issues.
To conclude
, Television
are
a great source of learning and exploring different horizons of knowledge .Change the verb form
is
However
, in order to avoid negative consequences, children need to utilise them in a limited manner. In addition
, we should allow our kids to watch tv
in a controlled manner, monitoring the usage to make the most Correct your spelling
TV
learning
Change preposition
of learning
along with
avoiding any negative aspects.Submitted by kukretihimani767 on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on developing clear and distinct paragraphs, each supporting a single main point. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a more distinct introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should more clearly outline your essay's structure, and your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Address the task by ensuring that your response fully answers all parts of the prompt. Expand on how television can make people lazy and prevent socializing, providing balanced arguments and specific examples.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas and viewpoints more comprehensively. Each paragraph should explore its main point in depth, backed by specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
Incorporate more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be clearly linked to the points they are supporting and be detailed enough to convincingly illustrate your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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