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Writing Samples
Band 5

Addiction to the internet is a wide spread problem. What problems does it cause? What is a suitable solution?

#addiction #internet #spread
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Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
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 has taken over the world and addiction has become a growing problem.
However
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, it is an essential tool for completing daily tasks .
Therefore
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, users should learn how to control their habits and gain the maximum benefit. The following paragraphs will demonstrate the issues caused by the
over usage
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overuse
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 of the
internet
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 and
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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 steps to overcome
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
To begin
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 with, folks are mainly addicted to social media networks. Studies have proven that an average person spends about two hours of their day
scroling
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scrolling
 on these applications. These programs including social networking and games are
develped
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developed
 to raise the
dopamaine
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dopamine
 levels of humans.
Hence
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, leaving the users feeling a compulsive need to engage with them frequently.
This
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 behaviour leads to many implications,
such
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 as causing
noticable
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noticeable
 harm
in
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to
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 mental and physical health
as well as
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 social lives.
For instance
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, when there is a social gathering in the past , people
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use
Wrong verb form
used
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 to mingle with each other, build new relationships and improve their social skills. But nowadays everyone is busy taking photographs to upload on their
instagram
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Instagram
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 and
facebook
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Facebook
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 accounts.
Hence
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, they miss out on many opportunities.
However
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, it is the responsibility of people to
use
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 the
internet
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wisley
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wisely
. Because
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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 has become a major part of our daily
live
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lives
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and
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apply
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it is impossible to eliminate using it. It is beneficial to take a break from addictive applications. And focus on other hobbies which can contribute
in
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to
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 improving a skill.
For example
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:
use
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 the two hours spent on the phone to read a book and improve knowledge and creativity. Some experts
also
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reccomend
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recommend
 therapy for people who are highly dependent on the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 can be addictive. But the users should be able to manage their thoughts and feelings to eradicate
copulsive
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compulsive
 behavioural patterns and
use
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 their time productively.
Otherwise
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, it may cause an unproductive and
disstressed
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distressed
life style
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lifestyle
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.
Submitted by dip18thilini on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure your essay responds to all aspects of the prompt comprehensively. While you have addressed the causes and solutions of internet addiction, incorporating more specific examples and elaborating on how these solutions can be applied might strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
For improved coherence and cohesion, focus on the flow of your essay. Use clear paragraph divisions and transitions between ideas. Consider revising the section on solutions for internet addiction to better integrate this part into the overall structure of the essay.
general
Using a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. Avoid repetition of phrases and aim for more precise word choice to convey your ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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