IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Addiction to the internet is a wide spread problem. What problems does it cause? What is a suitable solution?

#addiction #internet #spread
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 has taken over the world and addiction has become a growing problem.
However
, it is an essential tool for completing daily tasks .
Therefore
, users should learn how to control their habits and gain the maximum benefit. The following paragraphs will demonstrate the issues caused by the
over usage
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
 of the
internet
 and
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 steps to overcome
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
To begin
 with, folks are mainly addicted to social media networks. Studies have proven that an average person spends about two hours of their day
scroling
Correct your spelling
scrolling
 on these applications. These programs including social networking and games are
develped
Correct your spelling
developed
 to raise the
dopamaine
Correct your spelling
dopamine
 levels of humans.
Hence
, leaving the users feeling a compulsive need to engage with them frequently.
This
 behaviour leads to many implications,
such
 as causing
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 harm
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 mental and physical health
as well as
 social lives.
For instance
, when there is a social gathering in the past , people
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 to mingle with each other, build new relationships and improve their social skills. But nowadays everyone is busy taking photographs to upload on their
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
 and
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
 accounts.
Hence
, they miss out on many opportunities.
However
, it is the responsibility of people to
use
 the
internet
wisley
Correct your spelling
wisely
. Because
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has become a major part of our daily
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is impossible to eliminate using it. It is beneficial to take a break from addictive applications. And focus on other hobbies which can contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improving a skill.
For example
:
use
 the two hours spent on the phone to read a book and improve knowledge and creativity. Some experts
also
reccomend
Correct your spelling
recommend
 therapy for people who are highly dependent on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. In conclusion,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 can be addictive. But the users should be able to manage their thoughts and feelings to eradicate
copulsive
Correct your spelling
compulsive
 behavioural patterns and
use
 their time productively.
Otherwise
, it may cause an unproductive and
disstressed
Correct your spelling
distressed
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Submitted by dip18thilini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure your essay responds to all aspects of the prompt comprehensively. While you have addressed the causes and solutions of internet addiction, incorporating more specific examples and elaborating on how these solutions can be applied might strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
For improved coherence and cohesion, focus on the flow of your essay. Use clear paragraph divisions and transitions between ideas. Consider revising the section on solutions for internet addiction to better integrate this part into the overall structure of the essay.
general
Using a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. Avoid repetition of phrases and aim for more precise word choice to convey your ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: