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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some think they can use as much fresh water as they want, but others say governments should limit water use because it's not endless

#think #water #governments #limit
Some people think that
government
 should
limit
water
resources
 but some may not. Now you may think
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that people
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
water
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and the population on earth is over a few million, but over a few years from 2020
water
resources
decrease
Wrong verb form
have decreased
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a decent amount and people know about
his
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
. So I think that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
limit
water
resources
. Now I know that if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
limit
water
resources
 humans will definitely complain about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human rights,
thye
Correct your spelling
they
 will think that they have the right to
use
 natural
resources
 or there are still plenty of
resources
 why should we reduce the amount we
use
 when we are changing the lifestyle we had
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
On the other hand
, we know that nothing is unlimited so one day the things we have will be exhausted. For
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
use
Add a comma
use,
show examples
 we have to
limit
 the
use
 of
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 or else it will be too late one day. We all know if so it is unfair to us but we know that life is unfair, nothing is fair in life. In conclusion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
limit
water
resources
 long
term
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
 human life but for
short
Add an article
the short
show examples
 term we don't have
limit
Replace the word
limited
show examples
resources
,
thus
llimiting
Correct your spelling
limiting
eliminating
water
 is important for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 for future days.
Submitted by kevin.i.chiang on

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task achievement
Consider presenting a clear thesis statement in your introduction, stating your position on the government limiting water resources.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs fully. Each should present one main idea, supported by reasons and examples. This makes your position clearer and your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use a range of linking words effectively (e.g., however, therefore, consequently) to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay clearly with distinct sections: an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each section should serve a specific purpose.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
general
Pay attention to the accuracy and variety of your sentence structures and vocabulary. Varied sentence types and precise word choices can significantly enhance the clarity and impact of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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