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Band 4.5

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #aim #sales #products
Many people are of the opinion that the main purpose of advertising is to encourage consumers to purchase unnecessary
products
 that they do not have a demand for. Despite the potential downsides of commercials, I agree that they increase revenue and competition. Product promotion is a well-tested approach to creating new
products
 in almost all developing countries.
First,
advertising leads to growth in sales and revenue by helping businesses reach new markets, which in turn can help boost their existing sales.
Moreover
, in today's competitive society, promotion is a reliable factor in staying ahead of competitors. Business owners whose
products
 are consumed or exploited on a large scale are working with successful commercial agencies to produce
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 results for their businesses.
For example
, most brand companies like Apple, Zara, or Milka have increased their income
due to
 trendy ads to grab consumers's attention.   
On the other hand
, many people argue that nowadays several companies often sell their
products
 by misrepresenting and distorting the facts, which results in consumers buying mediocre
products
 and feeling cheated.
However
, when manufacturers advertise their goods, they ask customers to impose their faith in the company, leading to better-quality
products
 and establishing goodwill among salespeople and purchasers.
Hence
, I strongly suspect that
this
 is an imprudent idea. In conclusion,
although
Change preposition
despite
show examples
 the opinions that advertisements are untrustworthy and push to hire minor staff, I believe that increasing sales revenue and competing are the primary goals of advertising, as they possess consumer satisfaction.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Task Response
Your essay provides a clear position throughout, which is good for task achievement. However, try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Explaining your ideas in more depth and providing more specific examples will increase the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a logical structure. This means having a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and a conclusion that summarizes your overall position. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly.
Task Example
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing. Make sure that the examples are directly related to the topic and clearly illustrate the point you are trying to make.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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