Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the rate of
sales
of
products
is the main purpose of advertising, despite
this
goods are not very essential for
people
.
Although
it could cause some
people
may hesitate to make a choice
while
purchasing, I totally agree that the main target of the
advertisement
should be improving the
income
. The
advertisement
of unnecessary
products
could affect
people
's decisions. Too many advertisements for
products
, which are both necessary and unnecessary, might give a lot of information to customers.
As a result
, customers may have many options and suffer to choose the most needed goods.
Also
, they could become indecisive.
For example
, many researches proved that advertisements of unimportant
products
can increase the customer's stress level
while
purchasing.
Thus
,
products
which are not necessary should not be advertised.
On the other hand
, it may have some advantages. Too much advertising
products
can improve
income
. The main reason is that
people
are getting used to seeing advertisements for goods, before buying them. If the rate of
advertisement
is increased, the
sales
of
products
would rise, respectively.
Consequently
, the
income
from
sales
products
will increase.
For example
, the
advertisement
of less needed
products
like Coca-Cola showed a 13% growth in benefits after huge promotion, in 2020.
Therefore
, the main aim of advertising should be getting more benefits. In conclusion, the advertising of less important things might have a negative effect on customers' making decisions
while
buying.
However
, it is a great opportunity to improve
sales
of
products
and
income
and
also
earn too much money.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay would benefit from a clearer and more concise thesis statement in the introduction, explicitly stating the position taken.
task response
The main points should be more clearly separated and elaborated with more detailed examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs with clearer linking phrases to enhance flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring paragraphs more effectively by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and adequately encapsulate the main ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized logically with a clear progression of ideas.
task response
The response addresses the prompt well and attempts to provide a balanced view.
task response
The essay includes relevant, if somewhat general, examples to support the main points.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: