In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

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In some

states

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states,

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older generations are required to continue working even after reaching retirement age.

While

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this

Linking Words

practice may enhance their financial security and

mental-being

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mental well-being

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, it could potentially impact their

overall

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health

Use synonyms

condition.

Additionally

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, it might lead to reduced job opportunities for the younger generations. Encouraging elders to work continuously can indeed help them sustain their financial security, as they get/receive a salary from their employer.

This

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is because

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apply

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in some countries where retirement benefits alone may not be sufficient to meet their financial needs. Many elders find themselves dissatisfied with the funds provided by government retirement programs, making continued employment

crucial

Correct article usage

a crucial

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source of income to maintain their financial stability.

Additionally

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, when older individuals contribute their knowledge and skills to society through work, it often brings them happiness and confidence.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

circumstance can negatively impact the

health

Use synonyms

of older individuals and lead to increased unemployment among younger generations. Older workers may struggle with

health

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issues and fatigue, potentially spending more money on healthcare.

Additionally

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, younger workers may face challenges in replacing experienced older workers in the workforce, as they often lack the necessary experience. Employers may prefer to hire older staff over new graduates

due to

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their experience.

To conclude

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, securing their financial stability and sustaining their mental

health

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are benefits when retirees work.

However

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this

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trend may have negative impacts on their

health

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, and it could

also

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lead to an increase in

unemployment

Correct article usage

the unemployment

show examples

rate among the youth.

Submitted by zulzayanyamkhu on Tue Mar 19 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure that the essay topic is thoroughly addressed; your response seems to deviate from the given topic about young people taking a year off before starting university. Try to stay more closely aligned with the specific question asked.

Task Achievement

Offer specific examples and evidence to strengthen your points. While some arguments are presented, further details or real-world examples could enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your discussion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Maintain clear organization of your essay by using cohesive devices effectively. It's beneficial to signal the transition between paragraphs and ideas more clearly to enhance the logical flow.

General

Review the essay prompt carefully to ensure that your essay directly and fully addresses the question asked. This will also help improve the relevance of your examples and arguments.

Task Achievement

You've provided clear arguments for both sides of the issue.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay maintains a good logical structure, which helps in presenting your points in a coherent manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Enhance future lifestyle is this a negative or positive development?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?