IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the percentages of British people giving money to charity by range for the years 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information on the percentages of British people giving money to charity by range for the years 1990 and 2010.
#information #percentages #british #people #money #charity #range #years
The bar charts explain the data in per cent of British humans paying cash to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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charity
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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depend
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on their ages
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
 a period of two decades, which is from 1990 up to 2010.In overview,
from
Correct pronoun usage
those from
show examples
 the age of 18 to 65
years
plus
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, were those who received money from Britain.
Hence
, it is
also
 represented in
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that time.
To begin
 with, those who were aged 18-25 earned the least capital
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 18% in 1990
as well as
 approximately 6% in the year 2010
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Furthermore
,
population
Add an article
the population
a population
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 at 26
years
 old
awarded
Add a missing verb
was awarded
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 with around 32 per cent whilst the others at 35 being experienced a maximum of 35% from England.
Moreover
, in 1990, human beings aged 36 reached the highest percentage of about forty-two
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by members who were at 65 which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
encountered an
estimate
Replace the word
estimated
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of
Change preposition
apply
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39% of capital amount.
Lastly
, both 50
years
as well as
 65
years
 plus had
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 range in 2010 of 35% of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 from helpers in the UK.
Submitted by cajaah93 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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