IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the percentages of British people giving money to charity by range for the years 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information on the percentages of British people giving money to charity by range for the years 1990 and 2010.
#information #percentages #british #people #money #charity #range #years
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The bar charts explain the data in per cent of British humans paying cash to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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charity
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
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depend
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on their ages
between
Change preposition
over
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 a period of two decades, which is from 1990 up to 2010.In overview,
from
Correct pronoun usage
those from
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 the age of 18 to 65
years
Use synonyms
plus
Correct word choice
apply
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, were those who received money from Britain.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 represented in
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, those who were aged 18-25 earned the least capital
for
Change preposition
apply
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about 18% in 1990
as well as
Linking Words
 approximately 6% in the year 2010
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
population
Add an article
the population
a population
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 at 26
years
Use synonyms
 old
awarded
Add a missing verb
was awarded
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 with around 32 per cent whilst the others at 35 being experienced a maximum of 35% from England.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 1990, human beings aged 36 reached the highest percentage of about forty-two
and
Correct word choice
apply
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followed by members who were at 65 which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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encountered an
estimate
Replace the word
estimated
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of
Change preposition
apply
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39% of capital amount.
Lastly
Linking Words
, both 50
years
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 65
years
Use synonyms
 plus had
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 range in 2010 of 35% of
money
Add an article
the money
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 from helpers in the UK.
Submitted by cajaah93 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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