IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #west #park #school #construction
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The given map diagrams
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 some changes that have
Add a missing verb
been
show examples
taken into account at West
park
Capitalize word
Park
show examples
 secondary
Use synonyms
school
Capitalize word
School
show examples
 since
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 construction
in1950
Correct your spelling
in 1950
.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the span of 60
years
Add a comma
years,
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 only the main road
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
 at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 position,
while
Linking Words
 other places are moved and some new buildings are constructed.
To begin
Linking Words
 with , the main road
unchanged
Add a missing verb
was unchanged
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 remained in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 throughout 60 years. In 1950, there used to be numerous houses and a
school
Use synonyms
 just downside the main road and just downside
then
Linking Words
 there was a
place
Use synonyms
 for farmland and playground . But , in 1980 , a car parking
area
Use synonyms
 and science block
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 built
replacing
Change the verb form
to replace
show examples
 the homes and the
school
Use synonyms
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
place
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 it became the main building . The farmland was swapped by the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 field ,
while
Linking Words
playground
Correct article usage
the playground
show examples
 remained unchanged.
Lastly
Linking Words
 , in 2014 , the science block and the
school
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 still in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
place
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the car parking
area
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
large
Correct word choice
larger
show examples
 compared to 1980 . The car park
area
Use synonyms
extended
Add a missing verb
was extended
show examples
 and the previous sports field
area
Use synonyms
 became parking for cars in 2010 .
Hence
Linking Words
 , the
players
Change to a genitive case
player's
players'
show examples
area
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 became small compared to 1980 , because
one - third
Correct your spelling
one-third
show examples
 of its part was used in constructing sports
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, place, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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