Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In the modern decades, using technology to access social
media
daily is a common activity which helps Use synonyms
people
to connect with others and get the Use synonyms
news
up-to-date. Use synonyms
This
writer argues that the benefits of connecting with Linking Words
people
who live far away from their places and updating the local information outweigh the drawbacks of Use synonyms
addiction
.
The most advantageous factor is the usage of social Use synonyms
media
. It is able to support Use synonyms
people
to communicate with each other not only in a local place but Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
globalization
. Change preposition
in globalization
In other words
, communicating far distance plays a vital activity in Linking Words
the
human life which can help them share Correct article usage
apply
fascinated
things, Replace the word
fascinating
their
feelings and Correct word choice
and their
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
bond the relatives. Take studying overseas as an example, students who study in other places might feel depressed Linking Words
of
their studies so they use social Change preposition
about
media
to message other Use synonyms
people
which can reduce the stress in their lives. Use synonyms
Thus
, using social Linking Words
media
is the best way to support Use synonyms
people
in bonding Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
with their
relations
.
Another feature considered advantageous is supporting Replace the word
relationships
people
to get the Use synonyms
news
to the state-of-the-art which is one of the necessary daily Use synonyms
task
for Change to a plural noun
tasks
people
in every morning or their free Use synonyms
times
. Fix the agreement mistake
time
Moreover
, accessing the internet where the Linking Words
news
could appear to illustrate the information around the world. Use synonyms
For example
, Microsoft Edge is one of the popular software where Linking Words
the
information Correct article usage
apply
in
worldwide Change preposition
apply
demonstrate
Wrong verb form
is demonstrated
for
the reader. Change preposition
to
Hence
, getting the Linking Words
news
updated Use synonyms
have
a crucial part in daily lifestyle.
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
By contrast
, using Linking Words
technologies
a lot could Fix the agreement mistake
technology
let
them Verb problem
cause
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
an
Correct word choice
addicted
addiction
. It is Use synonyms
can be
known that Verb problem
apply
contacting
lots of time on Verb problem
spending
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
software Use synonyms
have highly
potential Wrong verb form
has a high
become
addicted. Not only that, the blue screen would influence Wrong verb form
to becoming
on
the vision of the user and they would Change preposition
apply
be
Verb problem
become
obesity
if they Replace the word
obese
stay
for Wrong verb form
stayed
long
time.
In conclusion, becoming Change the article
a long
an
Correct word choice
addicted
addiction
could be outweighed by the Use synonyms
beneficial
of Replace the word
benefits
keep
in touch Change the verb form
keeping
others
and updating the Change preposition
with others
news
. Use synonyms
However
, becoming Linking Words
Use synonyms
addiction
is bad for our health but using social Replace the word
addicted
media
could help Use synonyms
people
decrease the rate become depression.Use synonyms
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task response
Ensure a clearer and more specific introduction to directly address the prompt, stating whether the advantages outweigh disadvantages without ambiguity.
task response
Work on your paragraph structure, ensuring each one has a clear main idea supported by specific examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
To increase coherence, improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking phrases to show relationships between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Provide richer detail and more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing.
task response
Remember to address both advantages and disadvantages more evenly to fully answer the essay question.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example